Chronicles of the Berkshire Pig: Woodstock Festival

Old Woodstock Town v Chinnor

London Broncos v Featherstone Rovers

So, yet another picture of Swindon station for the collection. Power car 43009 leads, this celebrates its 40th birthday on Monday, but was still going fine.

A quick change at Didcot onto a late running stopping service up to Oxford. The station is shortly to be completely rebuilt with more platforms, so doesn’t loo its best.

No trip to Oxford should be without a trip to the cheese stall in the indoor market. It is run by a French family so specialises in European cheeses. My selection was; Bleu de Beaude, Tomme de Savoie Missilier, Pouligny St Pierre and Clochette.

A couple of new guide entries to clear, firstly the decent St Aldates for a Dark Star – Wheat Purple.

Broken Britain 1 - However, the grapes has gone through a rebrand to something indescribably bad. Just, well, the ultimate cunt magnet. It was most definitely flagged.

So it was off on the bus, the S3 being a Stagecoach Gold as it is a tourist route for reasons seen later.

Top deck, front seats obtained. This sums up Oxford in one picture. A church, pavement blocked with wanker student cyclists locking up bikes, lots of buses parked up and a tourist running out straight infront of a bus.

The route goes right by Oxford aerodrome, or as it has it is now marketed, London Oxford Airport. Some rich kid set up the daftest scheduled flight service imaginable a few years ago, operating Oxford – Cambridge flights eight times a day, but funnily enough, it went bust in days.

Into my chosen destination, historic Woodstock.

The biggest attraction of the area is Blenheim Palace, more of that later, but here are the gates carefully captured through the front quarterlight of a Scania N230UD with Alexander Dennis Enviro 400 bodywork.

The village is also quaint.

I decamped in the main street, but whilst everyone else headed for the palace, I was off in the opposite direction……

…..to tick this GBG with a Cottage – Duchess.

Walking back through the town, the only other pub found was this. I might as well go back to the previous pub and drink out of the river as endure Arkells.

Broken Britain 2 – This is the final straw in any lingering beliefs I have in humanity.

My onward move took me back to the palace gates. Blenheim Palace is the home of the Duke of Marlborough. It was built by the 1st Duke, who was rewarded for turning against the king, by William of Orange, who gave him the land and the substantial amount to build the place. The current Duke shows his appreciation for the state financing his home, by charging £21 ago for being able to look in a few rooms.

The palace is just as well known for being the birthplace and childhood home of Winston Churchill. He carried on his ancestry traditions by changing political sides twice, sending the army in on striking miners, opposing Ghandi and gassing Kurds.

Anyway, this driveway was much more to my liking and only £5 including a programme.

Old Woodstock Town 1 v Chinnor 0, Uhlsport Hellenic League, Division 1 East.

Old Woodstock Town are a mid nineties merger between Woodstock Town and Old Woodstock. Both were Oxfordshire Senior League clubs, which was immediately won, and the club progressed into the Hellenic. After a while they were promoted to the premier, but were demoted in 2010 as the ground has no floodlights or seating.

Chinnor have been going since the early 1970s, and were in the Chiltonian league in the 1980s. They were up into the Hellenic in 2005.

The club have perhaps the only badge I know which contains cavemen in green loin clothes.

Despite fairly sparse facilities, promisingly, there was a bar…..

….who had a selection of Belgian beers. And pork scratchings.

The clubhouse was cosy to say the least. So much so that a door was opened staright into the changing rooms, and the players were given a bollocking for making too much noise by a bloke who was trying to watch the golf.

No team photos on the wall, but the opportunity to play ‘mulletts through the ages’ was replaced by trying to work out this extravagant method of showing dates for the club bingo night and meat raffle.

The attendance column gives an insight into why Reading Town went bust. I think my dad was one of the three.

So, approaching 1500, and thus entailed the most shambolic kick off I have ever seen. Firstly the away team managed to leave the changing rooms through the fire exit and end up at the pitch entrance for the mower, not the players.

Then there was a wait for the home team, as their team talk had been disrupted by the manager having to take a phone call from work.

Eventually they headed onto the pitch…..

….except for the home team coaching staff who stopped off at the tea bar which was strangely located in the players tunnel.

Just as the game was about to kick off, the coaches ambled across the pitch with their procured sustenance.

Eventually the game kicked off at 1510.

However, it was immediately stopped as it was decided a yellow and black home goalkeepers kit wasn’t the best of options for a yellow and back away team kit.

So for a short time he was in skins….

….before a visit to a well-stocked kit room….

….brought an acceptable compromise.

Once the game started, there was immediately an influx of spectators from the many open entrances to the ground.

It got particularly heated in one corner as this car pulled up to watched the game, only for another car wanting to pull up alongside and watch the game, but the first car refusing to move over at all.

This is definitely my mower of the season. Horse drawn medieval equipment, attached to an un-roadworthy Toyota Rav 4.

The game had now started to progress, with a volley of shouting from the home mangager.

However, when Woodstock had a chance, all was quiet.

Closer inspection to the dug outs revealed he was back on the phone, and giving a quote for a painting and decorating job. The joys of non-league.

All the facilities are contained in this small complex on the near touchline. To be fair, it matched the needs of the club and all the officials were extremely welcoming and helpful.

Woodstock are struggling in the league, being second from bottom. Chinnor are mid table but Woodstock had most of the play and took the league when a fluffed clearance from the keeper went to a Woodstock player just inside the opposition half, who remarkably chipped the ball back into the empty goal.

I have a long held action to set up a twitter account entitled “Goalkeeper’s Towels”. This offering has re-kindled that desire and I may get around to it this week.

The sure sign that it is a public playing field, the motorcycle chain to lock up the goals after the game.

Derelict buildings in the ground that would challenge Devizes for the overall non-league title.

Woodstock had a Dann DeVito in twins like scenario in that their number 6 was three feet shorter and three feet wider than the rest of the team, looking more like a competition winner than a mainstay of the team.

The strange choice of putting him in the centre of defensive walls gave it the look of a ten year balance of payments graph, rather than anything to stop a top corner thunderbolt.

By now the crowd had swelled to a mighty seven.

There were a few more chances, but Woodstock held on to win 1-0.

I was on the bus back to Oxford from outside the palace gates.

From here it was an HST upcountry.

With only a short connection, I had a couple of beers from the M&S food at the station. Although pricey, these are actually a decent standard, being re-labled offerings from regional brewers. However, the best part is that being M&S, they feel the need to put tasting notes, but even better, food accompaniments. This is what a Oakham – Citra should be drunk with…..

….or an Adnams – Jester.

Passing through Didcot, and the Orient express stock was on a returning charter from Cardiff.

Into Paddington, which despite currently undergoing maintenance, still has its magnificent roof on display.

The GWR green HST was in platform….

….but my move was a two car Turbo on the Greenford shuttle.

My destination was Castle Bar Park…..

…and the floodlights were immediately spotted as the train pulled out.

The ground are the old Great Western Railway sports complex, but were sold off on privatisation.

However, getting to them proved difficult as a dark alley went straight by them….

….and a complete circle of the grounds finally found the entrance.

London Broncos 26 – Featherstone Rovers 48, Ladbrookes Challenge Cup, Round 3.

Broncos have an exceedingly nomadic existence since their inception as Fulham Rugby League in 1980. They have played as Fulham, Broncos, Crusaders, back to Broncos, Harleyquins, and finally back as Broncos. They played at Craven Cottage, Crystal Palace Athletics, the Valley, Griffin Park, the Stoop, the Hive and now here in Ealing. They were an original Super League club in 1995, and stayed there on merit until falling away a couple of seasons ago, into the Championship. However, they have had a flying start to the season, top of the league and winning 5 of their first 6 games.

Featherstone have a long tradition in rugby league, but not necessarily as one of the very top clubs. Their strongest period was from the late 60s to the early 80s, when they won the league and three challenge cups. When the Super league was created in 1996, Fev were one of the teams who should have qualified, but were demoted to make way for London and PSG. There was then attempts to merge them with Wakefield and Castleford. This was seen off but there were then financial woes, which saw them go bust and reform. In the last ten years they have been one of the strongest championship clubs, but have not succeeded in gaining promotion to Super League yet.