Mousehole Trap

Penzance v Bude

Mousehole v Plymouth Argyle Reserves

More 'last of' activities from Swindon. Decision was taken to make the long slog to the furthest throes of the Great Western Railway, to Penzance in the far South West. Slightly staggered kick off times meant we could get one and a half South West Peninsula League, Division One West games in, including the league leaders Mousehole against a variable Argyle seconds.

Usual move of the 0730 Paddington to Penzance. This doesn't go the direct route of the Berks and Hants line via Westbury, instead it goes via Bristol. The reason for this is because there used to be a Glasgow - Bristol sleeper service and this connected with it at the latter, to take people onward to the West Country. The sleeper service stopped running 30 years ago but no one has got round to changing this train to stop going via Bristol.

Joining me today was my recently dole-bound acquaintance Mike. Mad Dai was doing mother’s day activities, I didn't enquire as to if he knew he was a week late.

The journey passes many landscapes, starting with the Somerset levels...

...which were accompanied by a scrumpy scotch egg (hard boiled), a Box Brewery - Derail Ale, and a game of Ale Trumps.

The cloudy Teignmouth coastline....

....saw an Exmoor - Gold and a best of ten at 5s and 3s.

The Albert Bridge into Cornwall...

....and a Dartmoor - Jail Ale and football dice.

Finally, across the viaduct high above Truro cathedral...

....and a Skinners - Porthleven with football quiz cards.

As usual, the cards threw up some very dubious questions. Q2 in this case.

All too soon St Michaels Mount was on the horizon.....

....as we skirted Mounts bay....

....and into Penzance.

Just to confirm that. Notice the heliport sign has been crossed out, as the helicopter link to the Scilly Isles has ceased.

Our all action plan didn't leave any time for slacking, so it was straight to the Crown Inn, currently the only GBG in town.....

....for various of their in-house brews.

Next it was a stroll down to the harbourside bus station.

With ten minutes to wait, Mike headed off to take pictures of water.....

.....whilst I spied the Scillonian III, laid up for the winter. This is a vessel of 1977 vintage and was built specially for the service to the Isles of Scilly. Due to the shallowness of the Island’s harbour at St Mary’s, the ship has depthless draft. However, this makes it very susceptible to rolling, which is unhelpful as there are extremely strong cross-currents around the islands, meaning it can be one of the most sea-sick inducing journeys imaginable. I did it once in the mid-nineties to clear my then last two St Austell pubs and claim a crystal tankard. I survived, the tankard didn't.

We were soon on the bus to Newlyn. This has now merged into Penzance, but serves as the major fishing port for the area. My destination was this place for cheese and meat and ting.

Whilst waiting for the bus, we spotted what surely must be the last remaining Rover dealership in the UK. Obviously news that they went bus ten years ago has yet to reach West Cornwall.

A short hop on an unnecessarily large double decker bus, took us back to the leafy suburbs of Penzance.

A bit of bonus ground action as the rather grand entrance to Penzance & Newlyn rugby club was spotted.

This is home to the Cornish Pirates, who regularly get a couple of thousand to their games. They are looking to move to a shared ground up country with Truro FC.

It as noticeable that the rugby had a visit all the way from Doncaster, whilst the football club were entertaining Bude.

Soon the floodlights for the football club were spied....

....then the club house....

....and finally the entrance into the ground, which is one of the finest in non-league….

….and £3 later we were into Penlee Park.

Penzance 2 v Bude Town 1, South West Peninsula League, Division 1 West.

Penzance were a founder member of the South Western league in 1951 and were a major force in Cornish football in the mid part of the century, winning the league on a number of occasions, as well as the Cornwall Senior Cup. Since the 1980s, they have really dropped away, having the indignation of dropping down to the first division in 2007, and despite a quick promotion, they are now back there.

Bude is right at the other end of Cornwall, a lot closer to Exeter than most of the Duchy. They played in local Devon leagues, before joining the East Cornwall league in the mid nineties, before promotion to the SWPL three years ago.
This game was 10th versus 11th.

Penlee Park was opened in 1952 and is an absolute gem. It was built in an art deco style, as seen in the previous pictures of the social club and turnstyles.

The main stand dates from the opening of the ground and would have been a pioneer of concrete cantilever. Although still looking solid, it is maybe in need of a little TLC, some smartening up of the fascia could transform it.

The 40 or so spectators were nearly all located in the stand, which gives fine views of the game.

Contributing to the charm of the ground, is the grass banking which surrounds two sides of the pitch. The Magpies used to get fairly substantial crowds, so these would have been packed. Now they have been taken over by well-established, but orderly kept, woodland.

Without doubt, Penlee is the non-league ground with the most horticulture within it. More bushes.

On the touchline side, the grass banking is cleared and on a good day, is a lovely place to watch the game from, like Mangaung Oval. Only two WAGs were taking advantage today.

With such an established ground, the collection of miscellaneous shite was absolutely outstanding, containing logs, hoardings and enough asbestos to condemn half of West Cornwall.

The programme was of an exceptional standard, and contained within it was a WSC-esque, centre pullout re-print, this being of the programme from the 1955 Cornwall Senior Cup final. Penzance lost 1-4 to Newquay. Of interest is the losers of the semi-finals also had a play-off (Burraton soon became Saltash FC). A good example of 1950s clip art on the cover, with players appearing to have heads offset against their necks, and random colours of shorts amongst players of the same team. An interesting read.

With the game still 0-0, we had to leave early in order to get to our next game. This involved getting a Lands End bound bus from outside the ground.

This took us back to Newlyn, struggling up the very steep hill that exits the village.

But from the top deck, it did lead to some excellent views across the bay.

Soon we were winding down some very challenging country lanes.

Until then, I hadn’t ever really contemplated where cauliflowers come from. However, we suddenly found ourselves amidst a sea of cauliflower fields.

We got off in the tiny hamlet of Paul, which overlooks Mousehole and is home to the football club.

Straight away there was notice of the big event. The football that is, not the Greek tavern.

We had just enough time for a Hicks Special Draught in the village pub.

The entrance to the ground was situated in a wooded clearing.

After a false start of heading for the cricket ground……

……we found our destination.

After finding the least picturesque approach to a ground at Cleator Moor last month, this must surely be the most bucolic.

Past the inevitable cauliflower field.

But a flag pole gateway signified our arrival at the ground.

Shaun’s shed was empty and we couldn’t find anyone to pay, so this was gratis for us.

Mousehole 3 v Plymouth Argyle Reserves 1, South West Peninsula League, Division 1 West.

Mousehole were a mainstay of the Cornwall Combination (the main league for West Cornwall) from the 1960s. They achieved promotion to the SWPL in 2007 when it split division 1 into east and west sections. They have recently taken over as the leading club in the area, and lead the division by 10 points.

Plymouth Argyle have a history of their reserve team dipping in and out of local leagues. They were in the Southern league, and then the Western in the 1980s/90s. This is their first season in the SWPL, and are desperate to move up to the premier division. They play at Seale Hayne, in Newton Abbott, which is further east than some Eastern division teams. They are currently fourth in the table.

The ground has recently received a lot of football foundation money, which has enabled hard standing and railings to be installed. It still lacks floodlights, which has prevented promotion in the last couple of seasons.

At the far end is the previously encountered cricket ground.

Behind the far touchline, Paul village and church can be seen, then the drop down to Mousehole itself and the sea.

Behind the near goal is yet more cauliflower activity.

The facilities consist of a very modest stand, which is basically an extension of the changing rooms with loose seating inside, and then the clubhouse. This is a pretty typical set up for the Cornish leagues below the SWPL.

A pretty measly selection of agricultural clutter.

Half time drinks a local Betty Stogs on offer.

Mousehole were 1-0 up in the first half. They then scored a second, which can clearly be seen in this view from the club house.

Almost immediately, Argyle pulled a goal back, as you can see.

I asked the bar man if he had any programmes, at which point he sold me one which was on the bar, but had clearly been left by someone next to their half drunk pint, as they went for a piss. However, it was worth the guilt of the bloke coming back, then patting himself down to try and locate his programme.

The reason for this was some of the great articles. Not enough programmes give supporters the opportunity to pick their six favourite seagulls…..

…..or have pictures of grumpy looking groundsmen on tractors. Full ‘day in the life’ article available on request.

Some say that young footballers are overly pampered. Not at Plymouth Argyle, where a 200 mile round trip in this death trap must be suitable incentive to never being dropped to the reserves. The driver is sprawled across the front seats with Pirate FM commentary of the first team away at Accrington, on at full blast.

Mousehole scored another to win 3-1. We headed down to the village itself.

Into Mousehole with a line-up of tankers on the horizon.

The number of ways that VW owners can prove themselves to be utter cunts really is never ending.

Arrival at the harbour saw witness to a bloke in a corickle, paddling round and round the harbour. It was difficult to identify whether this was deliberate or not.

We had just enough time for a Cornish Best in the St Austell pub on the harbourside. Most of the pub were watching the Twickenham ra-ra, so we had the bar to ourselves.

All to soon our bird to freedom was spotted.

By now coracle man had made it to a rowing boat, as can be seen. He then took this to a larger vessel outside the harbour, like a nautical version of Russian dolls.

The bus ride goes around half of Mounts bay…..

….including finally seeing the fishing port at Newlyn.

We had a slightly risky +5 onto the last train of the day back to civilisation.

Fortunately, the connection made quite comfortably.

The shadows were starting to lengthen on St Michael’s Mount.

And eventually, a blazing sun set over Copperhouse Creek in Hayle.

We cracked open the cheese from earlier in the day. These were all Cornish.
Whalesborough - Bude
- Keltic Gold, washed rind alpine cheese
- Miss Muffett, curd cheese
- Cornish crumbly, Lancashire style
Treveador - Falmouth
- Helford White, rind washed soft cheese
- Helford Blue, as above, but blue
- Helford Sunrise, rind washed orange cheese
Lanreath, Looe. (Dutch family who relocated to Cornwall to make cheese)
- Cornish Mature Gouda, over 12 months, almost parmesan like

Without exception, the cheeses were all excellent. Special mention to the Cornish Gouda and the Helford Sunrise, which I was particularly excited about as it is a new cheese from them and one I was about to order. We had also got a couple of beers for the journey, but only got through a Sharp’s – Wolf Rock and, against the theme of the day, some Sierra Nevada, only because there was a new badge on Untappd.

By now the village lunatic had latched onto Mike and was half way through showing him over 120 pictures she had of her dog. I quickly escaped to take a night time picture of Devonport Naval Dockyard from across the Tamar.

And then Exmouth from across the Exe.

And finally, after 10 hours and 500 miles of train travel, it was back into Swindon.