Kaiserslautern II v Pirmasens, Germany - Regionalliga
Sportfreunde Siegen v Sportfreunde Lotte, Germany - Regional Cup Westfalen
Colmarberg v Bettembourg, Luxembourg - 'Dames' Liga 1
Buitenveldert v Be Quick '28; Netherlands - Women's Cup
Monday 8th December
With working every day over Christmas, I usually have a week off in December and then in January. December is a week of football as there are always teams trying to cram in games before their winter break (January is always cranking round the Balkans or Baltic, with the odd game if I'm lucky).
Originally the plan was for France, Andorra, Spain and Gibraltar. However, events there made it less appealing. I couldn't give two shits about getting blown up, but I can't be arsed with all the security searches and suspicion for taking obscure photos.
So instead, a late change was made to divert to Germany, then Benelux and Switzerland.
I didn't change my original Eurostar bookings so it was off on the 0523 HST from Swindon to Pad, and then the 0755 Eurostar to Paris. Security was noticeably increased in numbers, but were largely disinterested.
A quick hop From Paris Nord to Est, for a DB ICE to Kaiserslautern.
Although there were armed police, they let me take photos of the large diesels 57000 class which the opening of the TGV Sud Est to Mulhouse, means these mega thras machines eke out their days on the Belforts.
My ICE was on the high speed line Est. This was the line the TGV crashed on a couple of weeks ago, though this is the bit on the yet to be opened extension to Strasbourg. There is no financial justification for this line except for European Parliament wanting fast trains. The crash seems to be as a result of crews illicitly taking family on board and then going at ridiculous speeds. Time will tell if this was the case.
As it was an International ICE, you get a comp meal, airline style cold fish and rice soaked in balsamic vinegar. However, they do have Erdinger on tap in proper glasses, like a 1930s British restaurant car. I brought my own starter.
And so into Kaiserslautern.
My Room was in a delightful old style gasthaus, with a room up creaky stairs Monday 8th December
Kaiserslautern II 2 - 0 Pirmasens, Germany - Regionalliga
above a smokey bar. Soon it was time to head off to the game. First signs of the ground were this roundabout…
…then the fan shop…
…and some ultras graffiti (there are more sinister sounding convenience stores to name your hooligan group after)…
Before the Fritz Walter stadion was spied, high up on a hillside, overlooking the city.
Despite being a stadium of 49,780 capacity…
…..the ticket office was a small portacabin on the entrance road. The bloke in front of me in the queue had a huge bag and then what looked to be tent poles, like he was camping at the stadium.
Ticket was 10 euro, which seemed a bit steep as it is only 12 euro for the first team, and there is a Six step difference.
For the uninitiated, Fritz Walter was the post war West German captain, and a one club man with Kaiserslautern. There is a memorial outside the ground, to his finest hour, the 1954 World Cup final when West Germany beat Hungary in the ‘miracle of Bern’.
Only the lower tier of the main stand was open, which necessitated a walk around the edge of the stadium on narrow walkway, like some sort of Patagonian cliff walk.
Kaiserslautern II 2 - 0 Pirmasens, Germany - Regionalliga
Kaiserslautern reserves are actually their under 23s. It Used to be open age so was has-beens and youth team players, although you still know you haven't made it if you are 23 and still in the reserves. You can tell which player is in which category after about 30 seconds.
Parmisin is approximately 15km south west of Kaiserslautern so this was their big derby game. The club were founded in 1903, and use the Germanic 'klub' rather than 'club'. Since the reforms of the German leagues they have mostly played in the Regionalliga Südwest, though have had spells in the Oberliga. Their most notable event was in 2006 with a cup win over Werder Bremen.
The stadium seemed a lot bigger than the 50,000 capacity, the crowd was announced as 480.
It soon became clear what my thought to be camping friend was actually about. He spent 30 minutes assembling a giant flag, which he then spent 30 seconds waving when teams came out....
…then sat there sat there motionless like a scolded Roman Centurian, bearing a bi-toned maypole.
The teams came out to you'll never walk alone. By this time I had made use of the other 48000 spare seats and moved away from the flag to the back of the tier, to the luxury of padded leather seats with an embroider Kaiserslautern logo. I think this may be the way forward.
Inside the ground, and smoking was not just permitted, it was seemingly compulsory, and it was the usual rank euro fags. As a kid, one of the more exciting moments would be when my mum’s compost heap would spontaneously combust. This was exactly what their fags smelt like, smouldering rotten potato peelings. However, this was Countered by the effects of the ICE balsamic mess and two litres of Erdinger now having worked its way through my system and was more than a match for the compost smoke.
The crowd was announced as 480 and consisted exactly of the sort of people who attend reserve games. Everybody turns up late and then stands up as they individually acknowledge the 50% of the crowd they know. You know, the sort of person that has sparkly Santa hat in club colours
There was a decent turn out from the away support, split between a tiny end terrace and seats. The only atmosphere came from their competitive edge between the seats and stands as they tried to out sing each other.
Though they were lagging behind in their flag offering.
It was all Parmisin first half, but poor finishing meant it remained 0-0 until right at the end of the half when k scored from their first corner of the game. The goal was celebrated by Status Quo being played, surely the ultimate motivation for an away side to keep a clean sheet.
Which gave our man with the flag a chance to get warm.
Dress for less, a phrase the Germans deem not worth translating.
Half time came, and the DJ took the opportunity to remind us that Roxette ever existed, playing a medley of their hits, as well as Stayin' Alive and Band on the Run.
Beer selection was four from the local Karlsberg offering. Also, an opportunity to add to my collection of German football cups. For the unacquainted, at German games, beer comes in a sturdy plastic cup which you pay a deposit of a euro for. This one had a picture of the stadium on it.
The concourse was huge, with a glass wall that gave an amazing view of the cityscape.
One wall had thousands of fan pictures on them, so the remainder of half time was spent looking for Mullets and double denim.
The concourse had a very strange set up in that there was walkway above it from which the changing rooms opened onto it with a balcony, so you could see the players get a bollocking.
In the second half, Kaiserslautern demonstrated their professionalism by taking 16 sideways passes in the defence before hoofing it aimlessly upfield. The p amateurs, only completing two passes before aimless hoof. For anyone unlucky enough to watch team managed by the late Tommy Burns, the aforementioned was his philosophy.
Parmisin looked very professional, in matching shorts and socks, better than 90% of UK non-league can manage, and also some league clubs. Also, numbers 1 to 16, although a couple of subs in 30s for Kaiserslautern.
Parmisin did have a stereo typical German Coach, getting very animated in jeans, brogues and an anorak.
Kaiserslautern closed the game down well and the only other action Was in injury time when a k attack, saw the keeper bring down an attacker in box, and was sent off, creating the welcome sight of an outfield player in goal. Kaiserslautern scored the penalty and it ended 0-2.
Tuesday 8th December
Next morning was a Unit move up to Bingen. This involved doing something I hadn't done for twenty years; buy a train ticket. Working on the railways, you get 16 free days of travel in each European country. I had already used all my German allocation so I had to buy tickets. We still get 75% discount but aren't they expensive. 31 euros for a Kaiserslautern-Siegen-Wasserbillig single.
Second challenge was finding the platform. For a station with eight platforms, this was very strange numbering.
Although the unit was eventually found.
At Bingen a late running Inter City to Koblenz…
…meant I could enjoy a curry wurst and Paulaner breakfast at 140km/h on the West Bank of the Rhein, looking at the wine bushes on the valleys sides.
My early arrival into Koblenz allowed time for a fill-in move across the Rhein to Neiderlahnstein,
for a unit on to Limburg.
With an hour to kill, I wandered into town and the inevitable German market. However! At last there was a decent stall, a miniature station and converted cattle wagon. It is Heartening that German markets in Germany are just as shit as the influx of German markets in the UK. What is the attraction of standing in the freezing cold in a pedestrianised part of Swindon, drinking re-branded piss lager with people in super dry jackets.
Another town, another novelty roundabout feature, this time a ‘goat’ shunter.
Another unit took me through the middle of nowhere, having missed the peak time 'hedgerow express' loco hauled service.
The station at Altenkirchen did give an amusing 'aren't foreign names funny' Inbetweeners style snigger moment.
Siegen is located in a number of valleys at the co flux of a number of motorways, but these all go right through the city centre. Imagine if Staines was located on the M4/M25 interchange. All of which resulted in pedestrian nightmare. Inevitably the hotel was on a mountain, though at least it was half way to the stadium.
Rather uniquely, the hotel had a massive model of the Bismarck in the window. On arriving, the owner, on sensing I was suffering from the altitude, insisted I had a beer before checking in, which was nailed in one, the second lasted about a minute.
The game was a very sociable 1800 kick off, and was reached by climbing the remains of the hill, then descending into the valley where the ground is located on the edge of town.
Lotte are top of their regional league, which is step 4, with Siegen in the obersleague, at step 5. Siegen were in the Bundesliga 2 ten years ago, but even then only averaged three thousand crowds.
The open terracing on the opposite side is cut into a wooded hillside, reminding me of the old stand at Wycombe
Sportfreunde Siegen 3 - 5 Sportfreunde Lotte, Germany - Regional Cup Westfalen
Sportfreunde Siegen were founded in 1899. They were a successful amateur club before turning professional in 1961. After a number of near misses, they reached the Bundesliga 2 in 2005. However, this wasn't the start of great things as they then went bust. They have climbed back, and are now in the Regionalliga West.
Although Sportfreunde Lotte have been in existance since 1946, they were in the lower amateur leagues before rising through the Verbandsliga Westfalen in 1996, and then the Oberliga Westfalen which became the Regionalliga West.
Entry was 7 euro, add in beer and some sort of wurst and it still came in under ten quid.
The ground is a traditional concrete bowl with a main stand down one touch line...
...though strangely this has terracing at the back.
Time to add another plastic Cup. This one was a new design for me, being handled, though the handle was only being used to hang it from back pockets or fences, not to aid drinking. The design celebrated the clubs 100 years celebrations in 1999, so possibly they either over ordered or the cups aren't as bio-degradable as first thought.
The teams came out and, rather disturbingly, led to a series of chest bumps amongst the away team.
No idea what the competition was, Seemed to be some lower league cup.
The game started with two early goals for Siegen. and the standard seemed very high, much, much better than the equivalent in the UK.
The plethora of goals made the tannoy announcer very obvious in that he confimed home goals like Timmy Mallet, leading the fans in a five minute chant, whilst away goals were announced with the minimum of detail, in a Will Self-esque tone. Chanting in German always sounds sinister. When starts with 'Sieg' even more so.
Strike a pose.
Wanting to get some more ground photos, I was allowed into the away end to get picture of Lotte fans, only to find there was only two of them.
Having dutifully watched their team concede the goals, just before half time one went for a piss and the other to watch the women's team train, so missed two Lotte goals.
I wasn't sure what music to expect at half time, but it wouldn't have been pint sized UK white rap star Lady Sovereign. She's been working nine to five.
Eventually, Lotte came out for the second half, but no sign of Siegen. The DJ put another song on, and the wait lasted for the whole of Snow Patrol Chasing Cars, whether or not this is some sort of planned torture I don't know, but I for one did not get the full benefit as I haven't recently had a traumatic end to a long relationship (unless you count threadbare Chille 62s).
The away fans made sure they were back for the start of the second half, to which they immediately saw Siegen score. However, Lotte soon scored and to make the 99km trip more passable, they scored two more to win 3-5. Game ended with Siegen teenagers banging on the perimeter fence and more Lotte chest bumps.
The 1700 start time led to a very sociable 1900 finish, which meant I headed into the brew pub in town for some unfiltered pils and pork knuckle. Speaking to a few people, all of which accused me of, firstly being Polish, or secondly being in Seigen to watch 'Bodyguard - The Musical'. I tried to explain that I was here to watch the football, which they found incredulous. So, travelling across Europe to watch football each night could not be comprehended, but coming to the middle of nowhere to watch a musical version of a shite 1990s film in a language I don't understand seemed fine. After a while I gave up and just confirmed, yes I was here to watch Whitney Houston in the tear jerking story of falling in love with a bloke who stops you getting shot by your sister.
After a few more drinks I gave up and went back to the hotel to watch the Detectorists in German.
Wednesday 9th December
Move for today was over to Luxembourg for a game there. First move was into Koln. I was delighted to see that traction was a once common but now rare as hens teeth class 111 freight loco. I was less delighted to find that of the 347 locos in the class, this was the only one I have had haulage from before.
Reason for heading via Koln was firstly the Bookshop at the station, Presse and Buch, which has a large railway selection. Unfortunately, it was occupied by a collection of Pensioner aged English trainspotters who having seen the wartime section could barely suppress their nostalgic delight at what 'our boys did to the place in 42'.
I Thought about doing leap across the river to Messe/Deutz but instead took photos of the station and cathedral, and it was just as well as there was a faff with platform changes, and the unit to Trier ended up starting from hauptbahnhof. I'd previously done most of the line with class 218 'bunnies'. (So called because their roof mounted exhausts look like rabbit ears) from Bonn, but still needed Koln - Euskirchen. The unit eventually rolled in from opposite direction and heads off ten late.
An hour or so into the journey I was accosted by simple looking fella. Talking in German, he was delighted to find I'm English. After a few false starts, it transpires he is desperate to tell me about his admorasition for Future Sound of London, and specifically their Lifeforms album, which is rather niche ramblings. He continued to cross examine me in German, with my stock answer that I wad only aware of their Papa New Guinea song. Eventually, he hauled in the services of a nervous looking translator. However, it didn't shed light on the most in depth analysis of the genre, consisting of "track four is great" "Track seven is really great", until all 12 tracks had been described in various levels of "great". I went back to my Kolsch and Ritter Sport.
With Petr Tong gone, we passed the national Ferkel (piglet) taxi collection at Gerolstein.
We arrived into Trier seven late with a three minute connection onto the Luxembourg unit. Yet the guard is having none of it and seeing us charging down the platform dispatches a minute early.
However, an hour in Trier is a blessing as right outside the station is a bar With 130 regional German beers. All the locals were drinking stubbies of the local Bitburger, I was more interested they had an extensive range of Flensburger, right in the north of Germany, as most bars in Flensburg have Bitburger. Cleared with a weizen and a kellerbier, also a Tannen Zapfle.
After an hour it was time to head on over the border to Luxembourg…
….and a couple of shacks north to my hotel at Walferdange.
First reason I’d chosen to stay here in order to visit the ‘Raschpëtzer Qanat’ underground Roman aqueduct. This is a series of wells on a hillside that are connected at their base by a sloping tunnel, which isn’t quite as exciting as the viaduct in a cave I was hoping. I’d left my phone charging in the hotel so no photos. Just imagine some capped well heads in some woods.
My game for tonight was a few stations north to Colmarberg (pronounced with the same emphasis as pimp my ride). I had Visited it before when I lived in Holland and Luxembourg-Liege line not yet electrified and home of Nohabs in their last throes, so many a day was spent on this line. North and South services crossed at Colmarberg so did leaps there if the other loco was required.
The game was between Colmarberg and Bettembourg in the Luxembourg 'Dames' Liga 1. The ground was found behind the abandoned town station on a goods only branch, and was part of a large water park.
However, the floodlights weren't on the ladies ground, which when found.....
.....was in complete darkness, mainly due to it having no floodlights.
The floodlit pitch was the men's team, who were having a training session.
That soon ended and although there were a couple of people hanging around, there was no sign of a game. Just as I was heading off, a couple of young girls ambled onto the pitch in matching kit.
Eventually, two teams worth of players sauntered on. At one end, the players half heartedly punted the ball at the keeper, at the other end a bloke manically set out cones in a very complex arrangement.
Colmarberg 0 v Bettembourg 3, Luxembourg 'Dames' Liga 1
V 
I still had no idea what game this was, and to be fair I'm still not 100% sure it was the intended game as none of the players looked older than 16. Also, some of the players looked to be boys, not in the built-like-a-brick shit house sense, but in the short haired. I hope I was more successful at telling men and women apart when I was 16.
A ref turned up in full garb, with a particularly energetic warm up. This was in complete contrast to the Lino, in jeans, shoes, a scruffy donkey jacket and fag on the go, shuffled down the near touch line, offering the other flag to any spectator who fancied running the other line. During the game, the lino spent most of his time giving formula one style chequered flag actions to his mates who were arriving at the social club along the road which paralleled his touch line.
The game had started and it was noticeable that the largest collection of supporters was on a pirate ship in the adjacent water park.
I took a few photos, but after getting some strange looks, headed off at half time with the score somehow 0-0.
Thursday 28th December
The other reason for staying in Walferdange was the 0713 northbound train in the morning, is the only one of the day to use the bay platform 3 at Mersch, as identified in the Branch Line Societies international version of 'Bay Watch', a publication detailing rare platform usage on the rail network.
This was cleared, and then I picked up the international train to Liege,
for a unit fest to Maastricht, Eindhoven,…..
…..Tilburg, Breda and finally Rotterdam on the new high speed line.
At Rotterdam I had arranged a behind the scenes tour of 'Miniworld', the fourth largest model railway in Europe.
The exhibition models various parts of Holland; the Lowlands...
...Rotterdam city...
...Rotterdam port...
The tour was from a bloke called Frank who looked just like Nick Robinson off the BBC. He shed daylight on Magic by showing me underground storage sidings
The 30 metre spiral to get trains to the correct height
Staff access to derailments
Shells of buildings where only the fronts can be seen
How the moving cars work
The train workshops
The control room
The England and Scotland scenes currently being built.
And finally, the model of Feyernoords De Kuip which he built out of card.
My last action was to take a picture of the model of Rotterdam Central station...
....and then head next door for a comparative photo of the real thing.
Next was an IC Direct service over the new High Speed line to Schipol, for a one shack hop to Zuid where I was staying.
This is right in the middle of Amsterdam's financial district, and seemingly, a very strange place to have a ladies football club, but indeed, SC Buitenveldert were found.
SC Buitenveldert 3 - 1 Be Quick '28; Netherlands - Women's Cup
Sportclub Buitenveldert were founded in 1974. The men's team compete in the Vierde Klasse, the women's team competing in the Topklasse, the highest level of female football in the Netherlands.
Be Quick '28 are from Zwolle. The mens team are play in the Eerste Klasse.
The complex has three pitches and is hemmed in on three sides by sky scrapers, and the railway on the other, surely being the most valuable women's pitches I can think of?
They must have enough money behind them as on the adjacent pitch there were 38 sets of goals in various sizes.
There is a small stand, oddly located high up in the corner behind one goal.
This was the Netherlands Women's cup. Buitenveldert are top of the Topklasse Women, which is step 2 of the Dutch ladies set up, with Be Quick from Zwolle, one league below in the Eerste Klasse. The standard was good, much better than the previous night, but went unmissable by most as Ajax v Molde was on in the clubhouse and they chose to watch that instead.
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