Thatto Be The Day

Manchester North End v Medlock Rangers

Waterloo Dock Reserves v Red Rum

Thatto Heath Crusaders v Egremont Rangers

St Helens Town v Atherton Laburnum Rovers

My last weekend of three consecutive on-call, and so consigned to home route.  The plan was for some games around Humberside.  However, I was rudely awoken by control to be informed of this.

So it was Manchester bound for a few hours.  The eagle eyed will spot a TransPennine service in the background, diverted away from the route via Huddersfield, where someone was on a bridge, threatening to jump.

Despite this being an 0715 arrival, there were already quite a few Liverpool supporters on it, heading for the early kick off in the Merseyside derby.

By 1000 my duties were no longer required, so attention turned to a makeshift plan for the day.  It was therefore down to Piccadilly, and a leap onto a Northern service.

This was taken for a few minutes, passing my intended destination.

Off at the first shack, Levenshulme.

Four days of freedom of the shackles of Europe and already the locals have reclaimed the station signage.  Well, you have to spend that additional £350 million a day somehow, and May seems determined its not going to the NHS.

Levenshulme used to be a place for rich Manchester industrialists.  However, the late 19th century saw it enveloped by the city and it became an industrial area in its own right, mostly biscuit making.  This means it is a strange mix of terraced housing and opulent dwellings, the ground being reached down almost country lane like roads.

Although it is fair to say the entrance to Rushford Park wouldn't be confused for the quintessential village green.

Despite the efforts of the mid-car park rockery.

Manchester North End 1 v Medlock Rangers 3, Manchester Saturday Morning League - Division 2

Manchester North End were founded in the 1920s in New Cross, which is indeed in the north end of Manchester.  They played in the Cheshire League, which at the time was the highest competition outside the football league, and played in the FA Cup, but disbanded on the outbreak of WW2.  However, in an odd turn of events, they emerged again rather strangely, a mere 70 years later, in the Manchester Saturday league, and playing in the south of Manchester.

The Medlock is a river that connects all the worst parts of East Manchester, and who's primary purpose is to make a walk alongside the Rochdale canal seem like a pleasant stroll.  The football club are based in Droylesden and form part of a large youth team set up.

Rushford Park survived undeveloped because it was a series of substantial defensive earthwork dug as protection against the an 8th century Danish invasion.  However, it was eventually flattened and now boasts a full size pitch, a training area and a five a side artificial pitch.

There is a fairly substantial changing room block, though with missing lettering to rival the English Pewter Company in Sheffield.

Seating is of a very renewable source, being a line of tree stumps that also aim to dissuade joy riding, which it seems to have mostly successful at.

Renewable materials also saw sustainable transport.

In the modern trend of astro-turfing anything, the pathways were 3g terram, but have now had a Dimmock style middle class upgrade, with a bit of gravel.

Thankfully, the requisite pile of dumped shite was in place behind the changing rooms.

Now the country has taken back the power to make up its own laws (oh, apart from all the ones we can't, but hey, lets just pretend there ever was one about straight bananas), the locals had dusted off their supply of mobile gallows, ready for the repeal of capital punishment.

The game kicked off, with the main reason for my presence visible in the background here...

...and down the touchline here.  Yes, double @nonleague_train, at the busiest junction in the North West!

So here is a very detailed match report through the medium of trains.

A bit of early hand bags as crossing in the background are TransPennine Express's 1B69 0726 Cleethorpes to Manchester Airport and Northern's 2F72 1003 Manchester Airport to Southport.

The ref has his first word with the away bench as starting on its journey is 1A24, Virgin's 1015 Manchester Piccadilly to London Euston.

Some intricate build up play for the away side as a class 323 on the all shacks 2A75 1014 Manchester Piccadilly to Manchester Airport passes.

Rather inconsiderately, the away side took the lead without any trains passing.

The people of Chester gave us Hollyoaks, so in retribution, we make them use double Pacer sets. 2D48 1017 Manchester Piccadilly to Chester passes a very deep home defence.

1B72 0955 Manchester Airport to Cleethorpes passes some more gentile football, before it fills up with Doncaster supporters heading off to their 1-5 win at Grimsby.

Since the Altrincham route was taken over by Metrolink, Chester services have run via the Baguley line and Stockport.  So 25 years, passengers on 2H37 0859 Chester to Manchester Piccadilly wouldn't have had the opportunity to see this knee high challenge.

One of the strictest rules in this league, is that at any give time, at least two of the substitutes should be smoking, and the manager should have a continually running petty argument with the opposition winger.  

I am happy to report that both sides adhered to this rule with absolute rigour.   

The Medlock number 8 points out to the ref, how perverse it is to have diesel traction on 1027 2H08 0923 Preston to Hazel Grove, when it runs completely on electrified routes.

1H12 0820 London Euston to Manchester Piccadilly stops at Milton Keynes, so will no doubt be full of Man United supporters for their game against West Brom.   

The away side got a second.

Half time so the occupants of 1O14 1027 Manchester Piccadilly to Bournemouth just got to see 22 blokes stood around vaping.

The second half started with some East Midlands Trains action, and 1R62 0550 Norwich to Liverpool Lime Street.

The direct route via Styal is blocked as the points at Heald Green are knackered, so the light engine on 0H36 1018 Trafford Park Euro Term to Bescot Holding Sidings was diverted via Stockport, and passes the training pitches.

The last through train from Scotland, before weekend engineering works blocked the route at Lockerbie, with 1M92 0709 Glasgow Central to Manchester Airport passing the lonely goalkeeper.

Medlock got a third. 

Still more trains than friends for the keeper with a class 156 on 1N59 1029 Manchester Airport to Preston.

Finally some action for him, collecting a weak shot infront of 2A06 0924 Southport to Manchester Airport.

I moved around to the other end, and a wayward shot sailed over the fence.  Spying a convenient hole in the fence, I went to retrieve it.  

And was rewarded for my efforts by ending up being plastered head-to-toe in anti climb paint.

So I returned to the safety of the train end, in time for the two hourly Arriva Trains Wales service, with 1D35 1036 Manchester Airport to Bangor.

The chain smoking/pointless bickering was being well maintained throughout the second half, as a class 319 on 1F95 1040 Manchester Airport to Liverpool Lime Street passes.

  
Similar dedication from the home bench infront of 2B04 1049 Manchester Piccadilly to Buxton.

The home side pulled one back, as those on Cross Country's 1M25 0700 Cardiff Central to Manchester Piccadilly would have had the chance to see.

And so the game ended, to almost no handshakes.

I was back to the station.

Where it was back to Piccadilly, and the through platforms for an East Midlands service heading for Liverpool.

My coach was over run by a stag party.  Needless to say, with their fine wines, carefully chosen ales, sparkling wit and informed opinion, they kept everyone both entertained and educated.  Not really.  These Carling swigging cunts spent the whole journey singing appallingly lame versions of 'How Deep is Your Love'.  Here is chief protagonist who went by the name of Jacko, who's level of hilarity can be gained by his skirt and blonde wig.  

Into South Liverpool Parkway.  Thirty years ago, this exact view would have been this, as the station was built on the site of South Liverpool FC's Holly Park ground.  Well, it would actually have looked more like this, as Merseyside's contribution to non-league football is largely the relentless pursuit of robbing, smashing up, or burning down of absolutely any permanent structure at local clubs grounds.

Finally, into Lime Street.

Onto the main bus stands, and a picture that looks like an updated version of the opening credits of Brookside.

Since my period of temperance, my chosen drink has been Pepsi Max Cherry.  At the bus station, I discovered a ginger version of it which I had never seen before.  It was hideous.

I was heading for a 1300 kick off in the Liverpool County League.  I normally don't bother with this league as information about games are almost non-existance.  Due to at least three of the grounds being burnt down each week, kick offs, changes of venue and postponements are rife.  My game was in the Anfield area, with the route lined by these banners.

Having prime top deck, front seat position meant I got to learn lines of Liverpool songs that I still can't get to scan into Beach Boys tunes.

Rising majestically behind a pawnbrokers, was Anfield's massive new main stand. 

  
Yet more opportunity for any pennyless locals to get further in debt.  Is sub-prime really a phrase that is still used?

Well, there are other options.



My game was meant to be between Waterloo Dock Reserves and Red Rum.  It was being played at the Dockers club by Edinburgh Park, which I thought had shut down.  However, arriving there, the pitches were all intact, but completely devoid of any activity.  Checking later on, it seems that it was the not unexpected scenario of one team not being able to raise a side at the exact time when the Merseyside derby was taking place.



A bus immediately arrived heading for the centre, so I jumped on it before I had a chance to get a photo, so just imagine an empty football pitch.  I headed back to the centre.

  
And then back to the station.

Where it was onto a Wigan bound 319.  Although not this one, which was on the advertised platform with its doors open, and was filling up nicely.  Just before departure time, another one arrived on top of it, the crews changed ends, and we departed with about 90% of passengers still sat on the other set, oblivious to it not actually being in service.

It was out to Thatto Heath, which is part of St Helens.  I've never worked out if it is the good or bad part, Thatto Heath isn't great, but then St Helens itself is shit, so I guess it is all relative.  Anyway, Johnny Vegas is from here.

I was heading for the rugby ground, which is one of the few which is part of a boating lake.

And one of even fewer that contains a church/clubhouse crossover.

I was onto the main ground.

Which is a very substantial set up.

Thatto Heath Crusaders 38 v Egremont Rangers 4, Kingston Press National Conference League - Premier Division

For a very established team, it is surprising that Thatto Heath were only formed in 1981, by ex St Helens player Frank Barrow.  They skipped through the North West Counties, up to conference level, where they have had a myriad of success since, producing a number of players who went on to play Superleague.  After winning the Conference in two of the three previous seasons, they were suprisingly relegated in 2015, but were promoted last season, this being their first home game back at the top.

Egremont is just outside Whitehaven, in the wilds of Cumbria, and is best known for its annual gurning competition.  Rangers were formed in 1900, and were always a strong amateur side, being one of the ten founders of the National Conference in 1986.  They have had a couple of league titles, but also a five year stint back in the Cumbria league in 2000, but now find themselves as one of the strongest teams in the Conference Premier.

The Close Street ground was originally the home of St Helens Crusaders, and with Thatto Heath having lost their ground, the two clubs merged to form the current club.

  
The main feature is this large clubhouse/ammenities block, which was completed in 2008.

Thatto scored an early try.



Being a public recreation area, the dugouts had lockable covers. 

There had been a bit of rain overnight, but the ground was absolutely sodden.  If this was the Manchester league, they would have cancelled all games for the rest of the season.

Thatto added to their score.

The home side piled on the points.

Egremont did get a consolation try, but it finished an easy 38-4 win for the home side.

It was back to the station.

And another 319 move.

This was for the five minute leap back to Prescot.  The town grew up as a centre for watch and clock making.

These days it is an oddly layed out town, as it is a large modern housing estate, with a retail park in the middle.

This is because, when time was called on clockmaking in the early 1900s, the major industry was electric cable making, British Insulated Callender's Cables having a huge works in the town.  This closed in the 1990s, and the site is now the retail park.

The town football club was never actually the works team, but did enjoy financial backing from BICC, so much so that it added 'Cables' to the club name.

The ground is adjacent to the town centre, and seems to change its name on a whim, most recently after the chairman's wife.

St Helens Town 3 v Atherton Laburnum Rovers 0, Hallmark Security League North West Counties League - Division 1

St Helens Town were originally formed in 1901, playing in the Lancashire Combination.  They gave up in the 1920s but reformed after the war, playing in the Lancashire Combination and with weak necked German prisoner of war Bert Trautmann being the star player.  They moved on to the Cheshire League and its emergence as the North West Counties League.  The heydays were the late eighties, winning the league and also the FA Vase in 1987, beating Warrington Town in the ‘shouldn’t this be rugby’ final.  They played at Hoghton Road in the south of the town, but sold this in 2002, where after they shared the fabulous Knowsley Road with the rugby club.  However, the latter’s move to Langtree saw the football side homeless, and after various shares, they now have their own ground at Ruskin Drive.  But there are still some issues with the facilities there, so they are still playing games at either Ashton or Prescot.   

Atherton is situated between Manchester and Wigan, and was previously a mining town with a side line in manufacturing nails.  For a town of 20,000 people, it has made the strange choice of having two equally struggling step 10 sides, Atherton Collieries and Atherton Laburnum Rovers.  The latter started off as a youth team in the 1950s, playing at the Laburnum Playing Fields, hence the name.  With age, they progressed through the Leigh, Bolton and Cheshire leagues, before becoming founder members of the North West Counties.   Two league titles in the early 1990s saw promotion to the Northern Premier, but this only lasted for a couple of seasons, before they returned to the NWCL, where they have been rattling around the different divisions ever since. 

I always think that Hope Street is one of the most underrated non-league grounds.  It was opened in 1906 and has all the makings of what makes grounds great.

The large main stand was built in the 1960s after the camble company financed 1920s original burnt down.  This version was the standard structure of the time, with almost identical examples being found at Cheltenham, Kings Lynn, Chorley and Morecambe's old ground.

Behind the near goal is a part covered terrace.

Though its primary purpose seemed to be a wood store. 

At the opposite end is, well, this.

Whilst on the opposite touch line is grass banking, with the background of some re-assuring industrial landscape.

I love a bit of home spun artwork at grounds.  However, this appears to be the type of scrawlings found on the notebooks of American High School kids that have have just gone on a gun rampage.

No doubt celebrating the inauguration of European electric street lighting.

Much more interesting than actually watching football, is guessing what the structural remains dotted around the ground, once were.  Hmm, probably a cover of some sort. 

These support bases seem to have been in place since the ground was built, but don't appear to have ever supported anything.

This discarded junk represents the hopes and dreams of the towns young, who grew up wanting to make insulated cable, but now have to work in a Next factory outlet.



A little deviation here, with instead a chance to guess what this might become?

Perhaps a bike shed so the covered terrace doesn't resemble the front room of a Deliveroo workers house share.

Ah, half memories of league sponsors past.  Whatever happened to HFS Loans?

More stringent compliance with the ground grading 'unfathomable piece of agriculture fitting' ruling.  Give Tony Robinson ten years of digging and he still wouldn't trace what this actually is or does.

A rule that is unique to the North West Counties League is for one side of the ground to consist solely of terraced housing.  Whilst Nelson are the leaders in this, Hope Street is a good effort.

The ground has had various land lords, who seem to let anyone play here.  At various times I've seen Prescot Panthers, Runcorn Town, Liverpool Ladies, Huyton RL and AFC Liverpool play here, though strangely, never Prescot Cables.  This means the pitch permanently represents the Baseball ground in the 1970s. 

The away fans made their presence felt with three flags.  Or 0.75 flags for each supporter. 

A decent @keepers_towels on display.

Oh, there was a game going on.  I'd arrived at half time with it 2-0 to St Helens.

As I said, where Merseyside has always excelled in relation to football is its relentless pursuit of destroying any structure at non-league grounds.  The likes of South Liverpool, Knowsley and Kikby having long since given up the battle of weekly arson attempts.  Those that do survive have to make their stands of Bastille like impregnability.  So to get into the main stand there are armour plates protecting the fire escapes. 

Unlocked especially for the game.

Though still covered in barbed wire to deter the most determined local hell-raiser.

Another enjoyable activity was following the trail of signs telling who had supplied what.  The best one told who had supplied the three breeze blocks required to extend the dug outs.  This was a close runner up.

Companies that probably don't need to put the international dialing code on their signage; St Helens based portakabin suppliers.

A graffiti opportunity if there ever was one.  The Garrick Club?  The Sealed Knot Society?  The Human Race?

St Helens added a third towards the end.

Which was how the game finished.

After the game I headed into the social club to acquire a programme.  For the uninitiated, this is one of the best in non-league, let alone at step 10.  There was also some excellent drinking offers from the resident club.

With a cracking selection of ales from Melwood.  Also had a rare Tetley's dark mild on tap.

But for me it was back to the station.

I had the option of going back through Manchester, or via Preston, both being on the same train from Hebden.  I chose the latter as it avoided the United fans going home.

We got to Wigan five minutes early, which meant the chance of a TPE service up to Preston, for the earlier service across to Calderdale.

Only to see the doors shut in the faces of those that were running across to it.

So it was the next service up from Liverpool, which was diesel formed as the line to Blackpool was closed, which meant it had to shunt on non-electrified lines.

Arrival into Preston, and the platform was ominously quiet.

Sure enough my service had been cancelled, which was odd as the unit for it was showing on other systems as being in platform 3C.

I went across to see what was going on, only to find the police setting up a cordon around it.

A quick glance from the other platform showed an extremely bent buffer stop and a front coupler that was definitely non-multi, so the incoming train had obviously had a prang.

With the crew off that service forming the next one an hour later, it was also showing as cancelled, so I headed back down into Manchester, past the wastelands of Horwich and the Reebok Stadium.  At Horwich Parkway we were joined by a myriad of utterly annihilated Chesterfield supporters, who put enough time into the train to mean I missed the connection at Victoria.

This meant it was the all shacks up to Todmorden, on which a quick check revealed that the second train off Preston had not only actually run, it had also stopped additionally at Sowerby, so would have got me home an hour earlier.

My onward connection from Tod' was twenty late, meaning I was back in Sowerby two hours later than if I had just gone home via Manchester.  Just to make matters worse, it was full of pissed up united fans who had been out drinking after the game, so was even more of a living hell.  Well, at least they only drew in a shit game, and Mourinho was upset, all of which is enough to make any scenario more bearable.