West Didsbury & Chorlton v Maine Road
Today was the reverse of yesterday, in that the trains were running, but there wasn’t that much football. There was quite a full fixture list in the Notts Senior League which was considered. There was also an option of a couple of Cheshire league games around Warrington, then Widnes v Warrington in the rugby, but the re-control of Oxford Road to Manchester ROC, meant their were no trains to get there. So instead, it was a couple of games around Manchester, the only sensitivity was that one of them was in the Cheshire league, which has at best a 15% chance of a game actually taking place at the time and location advertised.
I took my chances and was on the 1033 off Sowerby, heading west.
Into the main line platforms at Victoria.
The Ordsal blockade means rail passes are valid on the tram, so this was taken advantage of and I headed over to the Metrolink platforms for.
Over to Piccadilly and on to a Pacer move.
The PIS wasn’t giving much away.
I was off at Hyde Central.
My destination was actually the adjacent Denton, which is a
short walk away.
Now I know the Cheshire League used to exist, I’ve watched enough games in it. However, it seems to have stopped existing, and now is just some sort of fantasy football league, which is pretending to be real through a series of elaborate hoaxes. You see it has a website, though that doesn’t have any fixtures on it.
So instead someone puts them on a twitter feed, though not really giving any idea when and where they might be played.
They then send this info out to other websites, who make a guess at the finer details.
Meanwhile, the Cheshire League hoaxers even go to the effort of making preview videos, to further extend the pretence that games have been played.
But the reality is this, exactly the same as the other four Cheshire league games I’ve tried to attend this year. The football grounds exist, but there is absolutely no sign of a game when you turn up at the appointed time.
So here is Denton Town at 1245, for their 1300 kick off against the made up team of Linotype Cheadle Heath Nomads.
A check of each teams websites or twitter revealed reports from last weeks reserve game…
…or an alleged training session from the week before Christmas.
The Cheshire League twitter site was really taking the piss with a picture of the empty ground I was stood at.
But the reality was that there was definitely nothing going on.
So I headed off, leaving the hoaxers to have a pretend conversation about the existential existence of Daten FC, and whether existence preceding essence counts as a no-show, and therefore a points deduction.
So people, by all means give your bank details to the annexed Nigerian prince with a Hotmail account, but whatever you do, don't be taken in by people pretending that the Cheshire Football League actually plays any games.
I headed back to Hyde.
To the luxurious splendour of its station.
And a double set back to Piccadilly.
Except there was a faff involving unkooking the front set at Guide Bridge, as it was going ECS to Newton Heath, and we carried on crammed onto the rear set.
Back on the tram through the City Centre and out towards Altrincham, passing the engineering works going on for the new Ordsal Chord.
I was off at Cornbrook.
As I waited for my next tram, I took in the most graffitied building in Britain. Seriously, how much paint must it take to do this?
Until the second city crossing is complete, there isn't enough capacity for the trams from the Airport to run into the centre, so they turn back at Cornbrook.
I took this as far as St Werburgh's Road.
It's fair to say that West Didsbury is at the upper end of the Manchester social scale. You don't get this sort of walk doing to watch Abbey Hey.
The entrance was more akin to that of a country park rather than a North West Counties ground.
Finally, like a mini Union Berlin, we emerged out of the woodland, and at the ground.
Though with a less ornate gateway.
West Didsbury & Chorlton 1 v Maine Road 1, North West Counties League, Hallmark Security North West Counties Premier Division
Formed in 1908 as Christ Church by a local Sunday School, they originally played in the Manchester Alliance League, before changing to become West Didsbury and joining the Lancashire and Cheshire League in the 1920s. They stayed there until 2006, when they joined the Manchester League which they moved through to the North West Counties in 2012, winning the first division and are now in the Premier.
Maine Road were formed in 1955 by the Manchester City Rusholme supporters club. After playing friendlies, the club joined the Rusholme Sunday League and then the Manchester Amateur Sunday league. In the 1970s, they moved to the Maine Road Social Club changing to the current name, as well as moving to the Manchester League.
Four league titles in the 1980s saw entry to the North West Counties League, by now playing in Chorlton, making todays game a local derby.
The club originally played at Christie Playing Fields in West Didsbury, moving to the new ground in 1997, changing their name to reflect this. As with Liversedge yesterday, the ground is located on the edge of an estate, so one side looks at open fields...
...whilst the other looks on some very plush housing.
It is still rather undeveloped. The main facilities are behind the far goal.
This has limited seating infront, and a Atcost stand plonked alongside.
At the opposite end, another prefab, this time standing.
The far touchline is open.
It does house these homespun dugouts.
The teams emerged.
It was a double edition of @keepers_towels.
Though I managed to get them the wrong way round on twitter. Cue a thousand middle aged men who've never had a girlfriend, instantly responding to say so, especially some bloke from Wigan who felt the need to do it over six separate tweets.
I watched a bit of the game, which was dominated by the home team.
But then came the gold. In the corner of the club house was this. Now often programme shops can take up multiple portacabins, but while this one was limited in quantity, boy did it make up for it in quality.
Amongst winners from Newi Cefn Druids or St Johns Juniors 2003 presentation day, I managed to pick up back issues of this rather hopeful publication; a monthly 80 page glossy A4 magazine dedicated to North West non-league.
At first glance, I thought this was a strange front page image, but that was before I came across the back issues of the West Didsbury programmes, and their heroic use of horrific clip art images.
First of all this, although maybe forgivable as it is a slightly jovial depiction of Geoffrey from rainbow, kicking off VD scabs that encrust the rest of his body, causing him to cut off one leg of his shorts.
A year later and the hair has grown, but as have the scabbing which also appears to have gone sceptic.
Six years have passed, and now a goalkeeping Gerry Armstrong is depicted balancing horizontally on the ball, having just through a two strand electric fence, and is celebrating this by having an imaginary cheeky slap of someones arse.
Another ten years and still fucked up beyond recognition. I think D.V.O '32 Vlaardingen are in the Cheshire League.
Remember, these were different times, when it was perfectly acceptable to claim one of your players was a professional child abuser.
The club seems to have attracted the Hipster element, it is unconfirmed whether the serving of Krombacher and Saltaire is cause or effect.
Fair play to the directors, with 13 bottles of wine ready for the final whistle.
The game was about a thousand times better than yesterdays efforts.
On the far side of the complex was the new tram line to Manchester Airport.
West' took the lead with an excellent headed goal.
I was more interested in the substantial collection of junk that was piling up...
...to the extent that signs had appeared deterring anyone from adding to it.
A decent collection of groundsman's clutter.
But following on from Emley, another mysterious yet frightening piece of agricultural machinery.
Discarded machinery/firework/WW2 explosive.
The bearded hipsters occupied the standing cover, next to their folding eco-bikes.
Maine Road equalised at some point.
To beat the traffic, I headed off with a couple of minutes to go.
As I headed away, the final whistle went, the game ending 1-1.
I chose to go back from a different station. This involved a walk through the woods, to the tram track, as it crossed the River Mersey.
I crossed at the local landmark Jackson's Boat pub.
The pub has its own football ground in a clearing in the adjacent woods.
Originally, the tram line was going to go through the pub, which was to be rebuilt on the football pitch, and in turn another pitch was provided for the team who used it (I saw Camberwell play there years ago, not sure if they still do). However, the line was built away from the pub, so the pitch is now unused, though the Cheshire League probably had it down as Vlaardingen playing there this afternoon.
My tram stop was Sale Water Park, though I couldn't see any log flumes.
We headed back past the ground.
Into Cornbrook with the cranes for the bridge lifting stored on the left.
Permissive working at its best.
Into Victoria.
Some sort of faff going on with trains, so I got the first one that took me onto a possible bus move home, this being the fast Leeds service as far as Hebden Bridge.
Where the semi-fast eventually rolled up and dropped me back to Sowerby.
And a quick check of the internet, revealed that my friends at the Cheshire League were declaring a 50% success rate of games being played.
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