Biggleswade Down

Biggleswade United v Biggleswade

Hertford Town v Maldon & Tiptree

I don't know what you do when you get bored at work?  Most often, I just go and get on a train and sit with the driver and he can tell me why it is delayed and I'll write a few words about it and that's my job done for another day.  However, sometimes I'll do some statistical analysis.  Most of the time that is actually looking at trains, but sometimes my mind wanders.  Such as the below.  On this day my mind was in the dark place of 'Which place has the most references in levels 1-9 of the English football pyramid'.  Well, sometime later, the table below was produced.  On the left they are the same place, on the right are different places with the same name.  Anyway, what stood out for me is how on earth does Biggleswade get on this list, bearing in mind it has a population of under 15,000 people?  

By the way, other footballing level 1-9 conundrums I've solved at work, are what two clubs that aren't from the same place have the closest names (Wroxham and Wrexham) and where on earth is Haverhill, and how does it have two teams?

A positioning move to get back down south for Christmas.  Not to visit family, but to take the opportunity of two days enforced leave to tidy my flat down there ready for selling it.  Painting skirting boards is the true way to celebrate the birth of Christ.

Anyway,  scanning the fixture list for a convenient early kick off, and in the South Mids Spartan League, low and behold was one of the Biggleswade derbies, so a chance to find out some more about this previously unknown footballing hotbed.

So it was an earlyish train off Sowerby.  Notice my fellow passengers are two fisherman on their way back home after a night spent on the banks of the Calder.  So for once, heading off to watch crap football was actually more purposeful than what others were using the train for.   

At Leeds it was onto an East Coast Mk 4 set.

A noticeably empty train, operated by a noticeably financially fucked company, whisked me down to Peterborough.

Where it was across to a Great Northern stopping service.  These class 365 units were part of the 'Networker' family, who had a lot of attention spent making them look very pretty.  One of the things the designers did, was to have a lovely large windscreen vice a corridor connect.  The problem was they never asked anyone who had driven or operated a train for any input.  This is because train drivers only need a tiny view ahead to see the track and signals.  Anything bigger, firstly takes away strength of the cab if it hits anything, but more importantly, the large expanse of glass turns the cab into a greenhouse with the first hint of any sun.  These trains were notorious for the latter, and so air conditioning was added, the intake being in the form of the smiley face grill at the bottom centre.  Hence, the whole purpose of the supposed original enhanced aesthetics, were instantly lost.

Anyway, I was down a few shacks to Biggleswade.

Biggleswade grew up as a crop farming area, that had the benefit of being on the Great North Road, and then the East Coast Main Line.  Nowadays it is the epicentre of the UK muesli industry as it is the home Jordan's cereals.  The main square was hosting a small but slightly shambolic market; the stalls were all facing in opposite directions and in the middle was a pen containing some seemingly abandoned sheep, the purpose of which wasn't evident.  

If ever anyone seems a bit of a know all, one of the ways I like to bring them down is by asking them to name two places in Befordshire that aren't Bedford.  They can sometimes get Luton, but after that, you have the intellectual high ground, as it is is the UK's most anonymous county.  People have generally heard of the third most populated place of Dunstable, and don't realise fourth place Leighton Buzzard is in Bedfordshire, but the fact that the next two positions are taken by Kempston and then Houghton Regis, means that only aficionados of the Spartan South Midland's League would ever get close to meeting the challenge.  Anyway, I didn't realise the county reached over this far, so I can now add seventh place Biggleswade to my retort.  

What else?  Well, it seems the most famous person from Biggleswade is Stevie V, and the Poundstretcher has gone of business, though I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

I made my way slightly to the north of the town which is where this football was being located.

The first instance I have had of almost being run down by an adult on a tricycle as I walked down the entrance road to a ground.

Which was still perhaps not the most hazardous part of getting into the ground.  I'm sure there was plenty of passing trade enticed by this entrance. 

Biggleswade United 1 v Biggleswade 1, Molten Spartan South Midlands Football League

Biggleswade United were formed in 1959 and played for a decade in the North Hertfordshire League before stepping up to the South Midlands League, without much success.  The 1980s saw them drop to the Hertfordshire Senior County and then the Bedford & District League, where they finally saw some success, with successive title wins in the mid 1990s saw them promoted back to the South Midlands League, winning the first division on their first season back and hence being placed in the senior division when the leagues merged to become the Spartan South Midlands league, which has been renamed as division one and now the premier.

Biggleswade FC were formed in 2016.  For reasons unknown, there had been previous attempts to set up a third club in the town, with AFC Biggleswade existing for a short time from 2012, but only lasted a season and a bit before decamping to become Biggleswade Town Reserves.  However, a particularly successful Biggleswade Town youth side decided that their best option to senior football was to set up their own club, still based at Town's Langford Road ground, and whom slightly surprisingly found an immediate home in the Spartan South Midlands league division 1, which they won at the first attempt and now find themselves in the premier league, rubbing shoulders with their long established contemporaries from across town.  I cannot for the life of me fathom what their badge depicts? 

United have played at Second Meadow since they were formed, it previously being used by an unconnected club of the same name.

Coinciding with their elevation to the senior league, this cover was built in 1998.  Although quite small, it is a mix of standing and seats.

On my previous visit I'd noted 'identical to the one at Wantage', of which I have no recollection of nor have any desire to find out more, so I'll leave that unnecessary detail with you.

This touchline used to be just a hedge, backing onto the Adjacent cricket pitch and goal line of rivals Biggleswade Town.  The hedge is gone, replaced with a fence, and this stand was added in 2009, with a lofty TV gantry.

The far end is hard standing, with advertising seemingly to be fictional companies from Breaking Bad.  Match ball sponsors were Los Pollos Hermanos.

This season's pre-match warm up development has seen the multi-coloured cones now matched by multi-coloured bibs, the relevance of which only seems to be taken seriously by the personnel trainer from the local gym, who is in charge of it all as a practical assessment for his UEFA B coaching licence they are invariably taking.  Almost invariably, the manager and assistant will be looking on bemused, whilst drinking tea from polystyrene cups.

The teams duly emerged.

And we were underway. 

There was double @keeper_towels.  An orderly offering from the home side.

A more ragged affair from the visiting custodian.

And here is a goal in photos.  This bloke crossed it.

This bloke kicked it towards the goal.

These two blokes both missed it.

And these blokes ran off to celebrate.

However, my legendary attention span for watching the actual football had been distracted by the presence of an unexplained wire at the base of the perimeter fence.  It went all the way along the fence...

...around corners...

...up and over the stand...

...and down into the ground under an access gate.  Intriguing, and in my mind, worth the entrance fee alone.

I'd love to talk you through these action shots, but my mind was now firmly dedicated to working out what the wire was for.

Rather strangeley, the director of football at Biggleswade United is Guillem Balagué, the bloke off Sky's Revista de la Liga who isn't Scott Minto or Terry Gibson.

Here are some playing football.  And some trees.  And a continuous, unsheathed, unexplained, wire.  

The home side got an equaliser.

And the game finished 1-1.  A fairly decent local derby.

I headed back to the station, with the wire scenario still unexplained.

Another smiley Networker took me down to Stevenage.

Stevenage station has the unique architectural style of a municipal crematorium.  Well, come to think of it, so does much of Stevenage.  I was onto a Hertford Loop service, formed of a 38 year old class 315, and due to be replaced in the forthcoming year.

It was a two station hop down to Hertford North.

A short walk took me to my next game.  The floodlights in the distance giving the impression of an idyllic rural location adjacent to rolling water meadows.

A turn 90 degrees to the left somewhat shatters that illusion.

This was where I was heading.

I then decided to try an out do myself with crap photography, firstly a blurred picture of doggers parked in the lane that approached the ground.

Then somehow getting a pitch black photo of a sign in broad daylight.

Hertford Town 2 v Maldon & Tiptree 3, Bostik Isthmian League - North Division (att 210)

Hertford were established in 1901 as Port Vale Rovers but following a merger with Hertford United, the combined club was renamed Hertford Town and they joined the Hertfordshire Senior County League.  After moves to the East Herts and then Middlesex leagues , in 1920 they joined the Spartan League.  They stayed there until 1959 when a short stint in the Delphian, Athenian and Eastern Counties Leagues, in 1972 they joined the Isthmian.  They remained in the lower reaches, until re-organisation in 2006 saw them move to the Spartan South Midlands League, where a runners up position last season saw a return to the Isthmian.  In terms of great cup honours, 1963 saw them win the East Anglian Cup by beating Boston United, neither of which I’d have as particularly in the East Anglian heartlands.

Maldon Town were established in 1946 playing in the Chelmsford & Mid-Essex and then the Essex & Suffolk Border League.  By 1965 they had progressed to the Eastern Counties League, but decided to switch to the Essex Senior League in the 1970.  The 1990s saw a return to the Eastern Counties which then saw promotion to the Southern League, before a switch across to the Isthmian.  
Meanwhile, Tiptree United were formed in the 1930s and played in various lower leagues before becoming founder members of the Essex Senior in the 1970s.  They moved onto the Eastern counties League in the 1980s.  A new chairman in the 2000s saw the club trying to progress through developing a new ground, but were unable to get planning permission.  Therefore, the new chairman took over Maldon, and in 2010 merged the two clubs, it basically being all the Tiptree players, manager and officials, now playing at Maldon under the namer Maldon and Tiptree.  This was a shame as Tiptree had a wonderful little ground, and you could go and have a look at the jam factory.

The club initially played at Hartham Park, but when local club Blue Cross were absorbed in 1908, they moved to Blue Cross' Hertingfordbury Park.

The 200-seat main stand was built in 1959, replacing an earlier stand that burnt down in 1946.  It's had a bit of TLC in recent times, but was showing its age a bit.  Nevertheless, still about a thousand times better than any Atcost replacement that would no doubt appear.

There was a cover behind the near goal, then the last time I was here there wasn't, and now this seems to have emerged.

In contrast, there used to be a stretch of covered terracing on the far touchline, which looked like it was falling down from the very first day it was built, but it had succumb since my last visit, just leaving the painted remains of the back of it against the perimeter fence.

The far goal line remaining the hard standing it has always been.

My slightly belated arrival was coincided with a home player being sent off, then the visitors scoring. 

This wayward home effort brings to the attention the presence of Hertford viaduct in the background.

So most of the game was set to the context of @non_league train.  The lone visiting keeper infront of the pair of 315s on 2J43 1504 Stevenage to Moorgate.

Given his horific hair and ginger beard, there is a distinct possibility that the Hertford centre half is an EMU crank so I'm sure he will be disapointed by failing to clear for sight,  2F38 1449 Moorgate to Stevenage.

However, he might have got the return working on 2J45 1547 Hertford North to Moorgate.

Maldon have adopted a rather strange formation with their keeper playing centre back, as viewed by anyone lucky enough to be on 2B40 1519 Moorgate to Hertford North.

Having been in situ since 1959, it means the main stand has had the opportunity to witness GNR Class N2s on Quad sets, Class 31s on MK1 suburban coaches, Craven DMUs and now 40 years of class 315s, predictably forming 2J47 1604 Stevenage to Moorgate.

The significance that this could be the last time the MAldon players get to play infront of the 315s is not lost on the referee, as he stops the game and points out that 2F42 1549 Moorgate to Stevenage is formed of 315829, one of only two remaining ones to be named, it being bestowed with the illustrious moniker of "London Borough of Havering - Celebrating 40 years", not quite as evocative as "Flying Scotsman".

By the time 2J49 1647 Hertford North to Moorgate passes, it is just a strip of halogen light.

So to the football.  The visitors have a free kick right in front of goal.  A precision curl into the top corner?

No, predictably a hoof that landed somewhere near the river Lea.

Having admitted defeat with the infamous Biggleswade wire, Hertford had laid out this little guessing game for me.

Back to the game and the home side were now having all the play.

Then from this free kick, the referee gave one of those penalties that only referees know the reason for.

I was very excited that this could bring the scores level, only for the person next to me to tell me that actually this would make it 2-3.  I really do need to start paying more attention at games.

Duly converted!

This sent the home fans (and their bikes) into a racous frenzy, in pursuit of an equaliser.

But alas, no more goals, and the game finished 2-3 to the visitors. An exciting enough game and the welcome is always good.  As ever with games at Hertford, you are just pleased that you have been able to watch a game in the Isthmian North without having to go to one of the hate pits of Thames Estuary Essex.

I nocturnal view of the previous bucolic splendour.

And for completeness, the dual carriageway by street light.

How about a really blurred picture of the extremely tacky Network South East era entrance to Hertford North.  I am pretty confident no one will be stealing this photo for commercial means. 

Another class 315 rolled in, and I was pretty surprised to find that the station has a platform dispatcher.

A soul destroying 45 minute, all stops journey into Finsbury Park, was made all the more unbearable by being joined at Alexandra Palace by those leaving the afternoon sessions of the darts.  I went to the first ever WDC Championships at the Casino Rooms in Rochester in the early 1990s.  There were about forty people there, so you just sat with the players.  My highlight was in the semi-finals when I got told to 'shut the fuck up' by Peter Evison as I was talking with Kevin Spiolek about why there are monkeys in Gibralta.  

Today it was just an absolute hoard of pissed up estuary English, mis-remembering tunes to songs about players they had never heard of until this afternoon.  A bit like watching Grays Athletic.

Fortunately I only had to endure it for two stops down to King's Cross, where it was across to Paddington, for a more refined HST across to Swindon.

Needless to say, the whole journey was still spent trying to work out that bloody wire at Biggleswade.