Montrose Roselea v Hall Russell United
Montrose v Queen of the South
With another Euro joint next weekend I didn't want anything too taxing from today, and having 105 mid-year personnel reviews to comment on (In the real world I do have a fairly responsible role), I wanted a decent length train journey to crack on and get some work done. So where better than one the dullest place I have encountered in the UK with a rather uninteresting ground revisit to match. For those of you nervously looking at your feet thinking it is your locality which is in the cross-hair of my monotonous metropolis based ire, well, you are excused, unless that is you live in Montrose.
So it was the 0604 off Sowerby. Yet I think I sleep walked to the station as come the appointed hour, I was aware that I was stood on my normal weekday Manchester bound platform, so it was an almighty dash across to its Leeds counterpart, just making the train.
Into Leeds and onto the 0710 Aberdeen. The station at this time is a diesel fest. The adjacent Neville Hill depot is an HST facility so it is kicking out sets from there to start services. The corresponding electric depot is at Bounds Green in London, so the 225 sets don't start arriving into Yorkshire until mid morning. Added to this is that the East Coast diagrams require HSTs to work the bits off the wires, and these are usually morning services into London, that have enough time for a Leeds round trip, before forming evening peak services to non-electric destinations. So around midday at Leeds is also an HST medley. Some early morning advice for all the white rose tram bashers out there.
The good news was that it was an East Coast HST set. VTEC have been refurbishing their trains so have been a set down and hiring ones in from East Midlands Trains. EMT's have been cleaned a couple of times since they were introduced in the 1970s, but haven't been refurbished so don't have power points or wifi and still have the very low IC70 seating, even in FC. But in true Virgin style, neither the sockets nor the wifi were working, as the company have a bizarre philosophy to put all their efforts into training staff to smile sweetly about any issues, and don't consider it a priority to actually get equipment working or trains running on time, to prevent the need to have to apologise in the first place
By now you are probably thinking, that's three tediously dull updates on the minutiae of railway operations, and he hasn't even got past York. The reason being that The amount of unrelated padding these reports contain, is based on how much else has happened throughout the day to fill up the report. Having been to Montrose previously, both the place and the football, I will be surprised if I can get more than four photos of anything worth talking about, so I am resorting to a lot of cut and pastes from a back-up word file I have called 'unrelated mad rants.doc'. Anyway, the sun rising over York was doing a great impression of a nuclear holocaust.
The Tweed at Berwick also sparkling in the morning sun.
Despite the impending task of entertaining myself in Angus, I knew this wouldn't be the most challenging part of the day. No, Scotland were playing New Zealand at rugby. Scottish rugby supporters don't actually live in Scotland, instead they choose to show their die hard allegiances to a nation their family last inhabited three generations ago, by being IT consultants in Newcastle and only travelling back for rugby internationals. Not that they'd live in Newcastle itself of course, instead the opulence of the wilds of Northumbria. So at Morpeth we were inundated with the Ralph Lauren polo and upturned collar brigade. We headed on along the East Lothian coast.
Having deposited the hoards at Edinburgh, it was northwards and over the Forth Bridge, with a selection of moored tugs.
The line skirts the Fife coastline, and looking back towards the bridges, the view is now dominated by the new road crossing rather than the iconic rail bridge.
Quite sensibly, the beaches were being favoured for a walk rather than a swim.
After cutting through Fife, it was now time to cross the Tay.
Over to Dundee and the low sun still giving some atmospheric shots southwards.
Football grounds visible from the railway; Gayfield Park, home of Arbroath. This was my plan B for the day as there was an early game at Arbroath Victoria and then Arbroath were playing Berwick in the cup.
The final coastal view of the journey was the shimmering beach at Lunan Bay.
Crossing the River Esk and into Montrose. As I have alluded to, I've been here before, and it is not that there is anything wrong with the place, it just appears that nothing has ever happened here. So today was a quest to find out all about the secret life of Montrose.
Montrose's origins are in it being a natural harbour and therefore was a Viking settlement, who seemed to alternate between using it as an important trading point for salted fish and animal skins, and burning it to the ground. By the 1700s, trade had expanded to agricultural crops with close ties to the Hanseatic League, which until now I thought was a feeder into the Ryman Division One South, but is actually a Baltic trade and defence organisation from the Middle Ages. Come the 18th century and the merchants had moved onto the much more lucrative past times of smuggling and slave trading. This acquired a lot of wealth which was displayed through lavish housing built in a distinctive roof style, which earned the town the nick name 'Gable Enders', still used by the football club.
Ever wondered where the largest inland salt water basin in the UK is? Well, the answer is Montrose.
Ever wondered where the Britain to captain the most amount of European cup winning teams was born and raised? Well, the answer is Montrose.
Ever wondered which town has benefited from risk taking sexually promiscuous homosexual heroin addiction? Well, the answer is Montrose. The current major employer in the town is GlaxoSmithKline, who used to be called a drugs company but apparently the industry is now known as 'life sciences'. Who knew the word drugs had bad connotations that they would want distance themselves from? Anyway, the major output of the GSK plant is AIDS vaccines.
Ever wondered what the 1887 Kentucky Derby winner was named after? Well, the answer is Montrose.
Um, now I'm struggling. Ever wondered where the saxophone player in the Average White Band was from? Well, the answer is Montrose.
I thought I'd try and re-appraise my view of Montrose through the power of education, so it was a visit to the town museum. For all the lolipop ladies and charity workers who are considered civic heroes, any curator who finds anything interesting about Montrose deserves recognition in the honours system.
There was a good display on railways, though actually about Kinnaber Junction, which was where the original Caledonian Railway branched off to stealthily avoid Montrose.
I learned about the local fishing industry.
And got my annual ornithology update.
All in all, a good show. Next door was a sign of broken Britain as this church...
...was now shared between 'Kraken Tattoo Studio' and 'Power of Light - Skin Therapy', ie laser tattoo removal, for those with instant buyers remorse.
The next stop off was here.
No, not to get my tyres rebalanced as McConechy's was closed.
Nor to buy loose gravel as Travis Perkins was also closed.
But instead to see a de Havilland T.22 Sea Vampire up close at the Montrose Air Station Heritage Centre. Although I was unsure if it was open or closed as I couldn't find anyone to ask.
However it did have a back gate that took me staright out into these playing fields, which was a convenient short cut to the first game of the day.
Except it wasn't convenient, as I found myself trapped inside this place.
But after much searching, there was an open gate that led me directly into the pitch.
Being of an honest nature and wanting to keep alive grass routes football as otherwise I'd have to find another reason to exist, I headed for the entrance gate to pay my monies. After going a lifetime without the opportunity, this was the second game of the season who's kick off I viewed from an adjacent BMX track.
But eventually, I was in.
Montrose Roselea 2 V Hall Russell United 0, McBookie.com North Super League
Montrose Roselea were formed in 1930. They are part of the Scottish Juniors set up and were previously part of the East/Tayside section though have recently moved to the North area. Either they have had an influx of improved talent, or else the new competition is a lot easier as they have risen to the Super League division, having previously be content with local league titles, and also sporadic victories in the illustrious DJ Laing Homes League Cup and the equally prestigious Division One Rosebank Car Centre Cup.
Hall Russell United are from Bridge of Don, a north west suburb of Aberdeen. They have their origins as the works team of the Hall Russell shipyard, which built fishing boats and cargo vessels, its most famous construction being the bombed Greenpeace vessel, the Rainbow Warrior. The original football club were formed in 1863 but a hiatus in the 1960s means the current outfit are seen as a new entity from 1968, playing in the North section of the Junior league.
Roselea were previously located at various playing fields around the town and latterly shared the senior teams Links Park. However, in 1983 they moved to Broomfield Park which at the time was an open field. I have to say, the club seems to have escaped the eyes of the stadium cranks, and very little about the ground exists on line, so I wasn't expecting much. By god, how wrong could I be.
The ground has developed over time with dedicated changing rooms coming in 1994 and floodlights in 2000.
In 2007, spectator facilities arrived with a couple of small covers, with more added since. But rather than just being some Atcost prefab, these are bespoke structures to fit in with the constraints of where they happen to be placed around the ground.
But even better, they have had improvised raised terracing and barriers added. To have one of these structures would make any ground, to have them randomly dotted about the place is just sublime.
This was the main one, with a row of seating atop the steps of terracing.
As for hard standing, well, just some paving slabs or a pavement? Nooooooooo. Instead, a row of wooden railway sleepers to perch on. Just brilliant.
Continuing the theme of many small structures rather than single large ones, the dug gout capacity is achieved through a collection of covers on the far touchline.
With this one sprouting a wooden framed decking from its roof, with the cladding tucked behind waiting to be added. I assume it is a filming gantry, but I'd like to think it is yet another spectator cover. Or executive boxes.
Whilst I was mesmerised by the ground, the game was in progress.
The opening exchanges.
There was some brilliantly natural crafted swearing from all those involved. One hefty challenge by a lumbering centre half earning him the rebuke of being an 'arsehole donkey' by a passing spectator.
From the free kick, Roselea missed an almost open goal.
The away support hadn't travelled in numbers. I'm unsure if segregation was in place.
This dog stared at me for a long time. Dogs seem to be very good at that.
It was then the turn of Hall Russel to miss a chance.
The spectators battled with the sun.
The away contingent had doubled in numbers.
As for the football, well, as you will know, I'm only really interested in one thing; Huge sky bound punts. And as this was close to my dream ground, it was only fitting that there was football to match.
I didn't see any passing between defenders. But I saw lots of forty foot clearances.
A special mention to the home number two (I couldn't fathom which position he was playing, possibly right back), who didn't make a single pass that didn't trouble the mesosphere.
To such an extent that at the full height of their trajectory, I had to abandon any attempt to get both the ball and the pitch in the same shot. This one was the winner, with only the top of the floodlights giving any link to a game being in progress below.
Another free kick, with the sun and lengthy shadows meaning I was now photo bombing my own pictures.
The referee lectures one of the away bench about swearing. That's 1200 years of Scottish tradition he is trying to curtail.
This could have been a goal? Roselea definitely scored, but I thought it was at the other end.
With a top class ground came top class clutter.
It matched the stand policy, being liberally spread across the site.
And the crowning glory of any legendary ground, the collection of improvised agricultural machinery that could be medieval torture equipment.
After careful judging, this was awarded the prize for being my favourite. No idea what it does, but I'm sure it would make a great Judas Cradle.
Play carried on as I inspected the roller. Notice the fire assembly point. It's attention to unnecessary and long forgotten detail like this that makes a ground.
Another free kick for Montrose. The visitors did like to kick players and then moan about the consequences.
All action as the kick is taken.
And an acrobatic goalkeeper took us to half time. So with everything pointing this towards one of the great grounds, it was time to see if the hospitality matched.
Well, this one picture answers that. I have done over 3,000 grounds and can't recall anything this good, certainly not when I've been sober. This cake display was matched by some home made lentil soup being on the boil in the back ground, and also a nice line in ham and cheese toasties.
So did it taste as good as it looked? No, it was even better. I'd been restrained with the confectionery, limiting myself to a mars bar topped rice crispy caramel slice.
Absolutely devine, and within seconds I was back for a Crunchie brownie, (Malteser was also available). Seriously, this was bake off standard.
I felt sorry for these sponsors, fruit mustn't get a look on with whats on offer here.
To the second half and Roselea broke the deadlock.
There were a number of other games going on in the playing fields tucked behind the sand dunes.
More corners, and quite correctly, not even a thought of a short one. Big men lumbered up from the back and the ball was hoofed in their general direction.
At some point there was a second goal for Roselea.
For once, I didn't want a game to end, but it did, 2-0 to the home side. Utterly exceptional and my favourite new ground and game for a very long time.
So off to game two of the day, and a walk across the golf links and the ex-Caledonian Railway branch to the docks.
This was fifteen minutes to kick off. Looks like I'd beaten the traffic.
The entrance to the ground has one of the more ornate police control rooms.
And to the ground itself, with one of the cheeriest bag searches I've ever had.
Montrose 0 v Queen of the South 0, William Hill Scottish Cup - 3rd round
Montrose were founded in 1879 when the coming of the railway meant that they could travel to other destinations to play, so a side was required to represent the prolific local scene. In the same way that the railways unified timekeeping, they also unified football as until that time, most towns played to their own rules and it was only when there were games between towns, that consistent laws were adopted. Interestingly, reports from their first game, against Arbroath Wanderers, state that there were disputes about whether the ball could be handled. Even better, they were playing a rather adventurous 2-2-6 formation! Montrose were actually one of the most sucesful clubs, but the isolated location and declining wealth of the town, meant they didn't join the Scottish league until 1923. However, they were immediately relegated, but rejoined in 1950s. Since then they have't done a lot. A stint in the second tier in the 1970s, a few cup tie wins, but little else of note. They came bottom of the league in 2015, but won the play off against Brora Rangers.
Queen of the South are from Dumfries, in the border region of South West Scotland. The football team were formed after WW1 in order to get a higher level of football in the town, and were a merger of existing sides 5th Kings Own Scottish Borderers FC (good luck with getting a chant for them), and the works team of local car manufacturer Arrol-Johnston. The clubs name came from a description of the town by a local poet come politician. After initially competing in the Southern Counties section of the Scottish League, but in the 1920s, were part of the newly formed division three of the league proper. Unlike a lot of the make weights in the division, they were a strong entity, based around future Newcastle legend Hughie Gallagher, and gained promotions so that by the 1930s, they were in the top division, and holding there own. However, by the mid 1960s, they had dropped down to the second level, followed by a long stint in the third in the 1980s and 90s. However, the last twenty years has seen them establish themselves as a solid, second level club.
Links Park has been home to Montrose since 1887. Prior to that, football had been played on the links themselves, then on a dedicated pitch, before settling on the site still in use today. The original main stand was acquired from the Highland games where it was used as a temporary structure, but a rare period of affluence in the 1990s saw the ground considerably tidied up and upgraded.
The original main stand was replaced in the 1990s by this very large cantilever offering that dominates the ground today.
A cover was erected over the Wellington Street end in the 1960s.
The Beach End is an open terrace that I either never noticed on my last visit or has slipped my mind, as I thought the other two sides were just hard standing.
Which the north touchline is.
Who knew that comic book guy supported Montrose? Worst caption ever.
The players emerged. The pitch was replaced with an artificial surface in 2006, and this was upgraded to 3G last year.
The game got underway.
This bloke took a corner in bright yellow socks. No one scored.
Incidentally, Wikipedia states that Queen of the South have a third kit. Have I failed to notice the Scottish Championship side who play in blue and grey stripes, creating a requirement for the white kit?
I carried on with my dogged mantra of taking photos directly into sunlight. No one scored.
The professionals took a more shaded viewpoint. Not that he got a photo of anyone scoring.
There was double @keepers_towels. Two more than there were goals.
Though disappointingly, they were both floorbound. Get them hung up lads.
There were a surprising number of away fans who were making the 360 mile round trip. Doonhammers is the clubs official nickname, and refers to the local pronounciation of 'down home' that the ex-pats in Glasgow used. Still no goals.
I was privy to a fantastic conversation amongst a couple of away fans, who were convinced their goalkeeper had the hairiest knees in football, with one of them giving an extremely enthusiastic and high pitched case. By chance, I found I had a photo which absolutely confirms his impassioned stance.
It was good to see that the legendary one man Montrose supporters club was just as vocal at home as when he is at away games. I can confirm that he is true to his songs, and that he really does sing when they're drawing. He was using today as an opportunity to launch a new array of christmas carol based offerings.
More half chances. No one scored.
And so the game ended 0-0, and they get the chance to do it all over again in the opposite corner of Scotland on Tuesday evening. I'm not sure if I was still on a high fromt he first venue of the day, but the ground was a lot more interesting than I remember it being, and a pleasant crowd to share the game with.
I headed back to the station, cutting through the former goods yard, which was used to load salt which was extracted from the basin.
To the station itself. Montrose does seem to specialise in extremely crap Wikipedia pictures. Whoever provided the photo of the railway station looks like they were actually trying to sell a Citroen Picasso.
And although Links Park struggles for an interesting view, I still believe there are better ones than this.
Somehow I managed to get a more car inflicted photo than Wikipedia.
My Aberdeen-London HST arrived.
And it was the same journey in reverse. With the sun now low as we headed along the Tay estuary.
Back across the bridge.
Edinburgh twinkled at us across the Forth.
Approaching the bridge and my first encounter with the extremely well illuminated access to the new South Queensferry Crossing.
With the road traffic now on the new crossing, as the old bridge is being refurbished, before it opens again for public transport use.
Heading into Edinburgh, and the late kick off in the rugby meant we passed it whilst there was still a baying roar of "Scotland, Scotland ra-ra-ra".
Back into England.
And the Tyne. Though a signal reversion at Penmanshiel meant we were twenty down by Newcastle, which meant we were ideally timed to be joined by a hoard of Millwall supporters returning from Sunderland. Which could only have been made worse if two Africans in full tribal outfits got on at Durham. Cue two Africans in full tribal outfits getting on at Durham. Their fez wearing means there probably isn't a Tommy Cooper joke that they are now not aware of.
I had a plus twenty at York onto a Newcastle-Liverpool. Thankfully it was being held whilst the Tranmere youth section, on their way back from Gateshead, being removed from first class by the BTP. So my connection was made onto Leeds.
Next was the Northern service to Preston, which is actually formed off a York stopping service, running late as it had been held for my train to pass it at Church Fenton. So here it is arriving to immediately form my train, rather than the 18 minute layover it is scheduled.
Back into Sowerby, with the Calder ale trail participants heading down the subway into down, to bring their dilettante behaviour and sparkling conversation to the town. Or to piss in alleyways whilst bellowing out Gloria Gaynor.
So there you have it. Montrose, not as dull as I used to think it was.
But more importantly, if you ever have even the slightest opportunity, get yourself to a game at Roselea.
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