Chronicles of the Berkshire Pig: Autumn Eurocrankhop- Day 14

Real Camba v America, championnat 3e ligue.

Lausanne v Luzern, Swiss Super League.

0720 and all is quiet at Monza station. Even crackheads and Starlings have to sleep at some point.

A quick hop into the opulence of the 1931 built Milano Centrale.

To tie in with the increased frequency of services to Switzerland through the new Gothard base tunnel, the station has recently undergone a tasteful refurbishment. That is, if your idea of taste is to stick a glass box with a Victoria's Secret every twenty feet.

Something for the UKIP brigade, a forecourt prison for the homeless.

I was on a Geneva bound SBB service.

This took me around a mist shrouded Lake Maggiore.

Then up through the Simplon pass. The tunnel here was opened in 1906 and at 20km, for the next eighty years was the longest in the world. It is seen as the driving force behind the invention of electric trains, as steam trains would have asphyxiated the train crew.

Before dropping down into Switzerland at Brig. I didn't realise this was a photo of an alpine sewage works until I downloaded it onto my pc, but it is the only one to show the Lepontine Alps which we had just gone through.

We then hit 1980s soft rock paradise Montreux, situated as it is on a steaming Lake Geneva. This was famously the location that Smoke on the Water was written about, though the actual subject was a burning casino rather than any natural occurrence. The towns other claim to fame is that it used to hold the annual golden rose awards for TV execs to go on a lavish jolly, under the thin pretence of world television recognition. The fact that the first winner was The Black and White Minstrel Show, perhaps sums it up, other winners being such notable acts as The Paul Daniels Magic Easter Show, Mr. Bean, Hale and Pace, Don't Forget Your Toothbrush, and Lenny Henry in Pieces.

It is the home of evil Kit Kat making baby killers Nestle, their waterfront HQ is shown here. That's a hell of a lot of Milky Bars to pay for that.

The railway then skirts the shoreline. They call this stretch the Swiss Dawlish Warren, but with less Crazy golf.

Into Lausanne station. I put my bag in to a luggage locker at a whopping 9 francs for three hours. Lausanne started as a Roman military camp, chosen because of its water access, and steep hillsides, making it easy to defend. It bumbled along over time, but from the 17th century onwards, became a haven for poets, the likes of Shelley and Byron, TS. Eliott and Hemingway all having spent time here. Although both the International Olympic Committee and the Court of Arbitration for sport are based here, this pales into insignificance in it being the home of the Swiss Professional Power Wrestling school.

It was then a trolley bus up to the ground.

Not really getting to grips with how clocks going back works with Central European time, I had arrived at the ground almost two hours early. So I went exploring.

The first place was the wonderful Stade du Bois Gentil.

This is the home of FC Malley. Etoile Sportive Football Club Malley were formed in 1927, playing in Malley, before moving to this area of Lausanne in 1946. They were relegated from the 2. Liga interregional in 2015, the fifth tier of Swiss football.

This was a ground I knew about, as it has this absolutely exquisite wooden stand.

I could then hear some shouting and some whistles. Some further exploring took me to the adjacent prison, whereby, in being waved through an initial chain link fence, I found this ground.

Real Camba 2 v America 2, championnat 3e ligue.

The game was between two teams of South American heritage who are based in Lausanne. 'Camba' refers to people from Eastern Bolivia, whilst the Americas team were of Ecuadoran extraction.

The ground is wedged between Bois-Mermet prison....

....and the Olympic stadium.

It is a large running track, which has now been grassed over, surrounded by railings.

Along one side are some quaint wooden dressing rooms....

.....and a cavernous cover....

......with trestle tables inside, and benches along the front.

I have to admit, I didn't watch too much of the game. America went into a two goal league before Camba scored a couple at the start of the second half. They were the goals I noticed anyway.

It was now time for me to head to the main game.

Ticket prices were fairly steep, and not that diverse.

Lausanne 2 v Luzern 3, Swiss Super League.

The Lausanne Football and Cricket Club was established in 1860, meaning it could be the oldest club in continental Europe. FC Lausanne-Sport was founded in 1896, originally being called Montriond Lausanne. With two league titles won, it changed to Lausanne-Sports FC in the 1920s. The heydays for the club were the 1930s, with three league titles. Overall the club has won the league seven times, the last in the mid sixties. It has won the cup nine times, the last being a couple of wins in the 1990s. After financial problems and relegation, Lausanne went bankrupt in 2004, and had to restart at the fourth level. They eventually got back to the top division after eight years, only to get relegated again, however, last season saw them promoted back to the top flight where they are currently fourth.

Luzern haven't changed dramatically since Thursday.

I headed in, immediately getting the chance to reacquaint myself with the Luzern team bus, for the second time in a week and the third time in 12 months.

Not fancying shelling out £40, I'd gone for the 25 franc option of the mysterious Bloc N.

This turned out to be the thin sliver of ultras area, tucked into one corner.

Stade Olympique de la Pontaise was built in 1904. It was upgraded in 1954 When it hosted five games in the World Cup. It also hosted the 1989 Eurovision Song Contest.

You know all the times the kids have stood on the pitch pre-match with the massive flag?

And you know all the times you've secretly wished that some fucker would turn the sprinklers on? Well, giving hope to humanity, it has finally happened. Bravo Lausanne groundsman.

The difference between the 25 and 44 franc tickets was this fence.

The 49 franc seats. For some reason the far end of the stand incorporated a cricket sightscreen.

The Luzern supporters were at the far end, beneath some high canopies that looked ill at ease with the rest of the stadium.

The teams assembled.

The Lausanne ultras went into action, but the pole on their main flag immediately, and thankfully, snapped in half.

Lausanne dominated the first half, scoring right at the start...

....and then right at the end.

Half time, and it seemed compulsory to role and smoke a neat grass joint.

Disappointingly, the long jump pit was out of bounds for spectators.

Into the second half and Luzern still looked like the side that had required penalties to beat a team three leagues below them. Somehow, they managed to score two goals late in the second half. Then in injury time, they scrambled a third, which led to a bit of a ruck and a Lausanne player being sent off.

After the game I headed down to the station.

This took me onto an IC2000 for Bern.

Leaving Lausanne, this takes the parallel high level route around the lake, giving absolutely stunning views across the lake, with vineyards in the foreground and the mountains just about visible across on the French shoreline.

Carrying on, the low mist was also giving some evocative shots of the alpine farming areas. Even the locals were taking photos.

I changed at Bern, which was full of fans of Young Boys returning from a wankdorf experience, onto a Basel bound IC service with a patriotically liveried class 460.