Chronicles of the Berkshire Pig: Approach with Corsham

Corsham Town v Chippenham Park

First of all, some matters to clear up from yesterday. I somehow managed to talk about football and Yate without mentioning Half Man Half Biscuit. So now I have. Also, Spirals nightclub in Yate hosted the first ever edition of The Hitman and Her. So another 80s favourite originating in South Gloucestershire.

And on to today. I have been to Corsham twice; once to see Ride in the late 80s, and last year, whilst on-call on Scottish Referendum night, I got called to a train trapped by floodwater in Corsham cutting. Highlight was being able to tick off the firemans dinghy for the hundred yards to get to the train. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-29273833
Todays game was Corsham Town, until recently a force in the Western League but recently relegated, and Chippenham Park, who are basically Southern League Chippenham Town’s reserve team, but with a different name to avoid the leagues ‘no reserve team’ rules.

Today was basically a bonus game after a meeting in Bath, so no great extravagance. Bus move from Bath up to Box, for the Guide Pub, the Quarryman.

Can’t for the life of me remember what the scoop was, distracted by the cracking views from the beer garden.

Bus route is hourly so I had to resort to ramshackle revenue cherry pickers Faresave for the bus on to Corsham. First GBG tick was the Hare and Hounds. It describes itself as a food pub, the available papers were the Daily Mail or Telegraph, Simply Red was playing and the guest beer was Robinsons – Dizzy Blonde. I downed it in 10 seconds and moved on….

….to this place, which is almost next door. The Two Pigs is a belter. Only opens 1900-2300, no kids or credit cards allowed, curtains permanently drawn. Heaven. Someone else was on the doorstep waiting for opening.

Four beers offered, I had the two house ales….

…in near darkness.

Corsham is a funny bugger. It was a historic village, but post war, got taken over by the army. So whilst the village advertises itself with attractions such as this…..

…..instead of peacocks there were a trio of sinister looking cats….

…..and the historic alms houses, were fronted by….

……rows of cheap army houses.

The historic high street….

…..has had a lovely 1960s shopping parade conjoined to it.

However, there must be money and discipline in the town as this is the only road sign for Gastard I have seen that hasn’t had the G filled in.

The football ground is a bit out of town. I walked it, until a car stopped and asked me for directions to the ground. I stated how this was a happy coincidence as I was also going, so got in. We carried on round a corner to come across this, which was about thirty feet from where he picked me up.

A much more reasonable fiver entry and one pound programme

Corsham Town 0 v Chippenham Park 1, Toolstation Western League, Division 1.

Corsham Town were founded in 1884 and played in the original Wiltshire League, becoming founding members of the Wiltshire Football League in 1976, when it merged with the Wiltshire Combination. They rose to the Western league in 1998, and their glory period came in the mid 2000s when they won the league and were runners up twice.

Chippenham Park are actually Chippenham Town's reserves, but have to go by a different name as the Western league doesn't allow second teams. They started in the Wiltshire league in 2012, rising to the Western in 2013.

The Match Sponsor would be proud of the thriftiness of the signage.

Ground consists of clubhouse and stand on one side, and uncovered hard standing on the other three.

There was previously a dilapidated wooden stand, but this has been replaced by the usual Atcost offering. Wiltshire has lost a plethora of historic stands in the last twenty years; here, Warminster, Melksham, Trowbridge, all gone.

At none league games there are three subjects that I keep a close eye on.
1. Rusting agricultural machinery
2. Managers wanting to prove they have still got it and insisting they kick any replacement balls back on the pitch.
3. Goalkeepers doing two legged leaps over pitchside railings to retrieve the ball.
Corsham had fine examples of the first two. This tractor and mower was so fucked, it had grass growing through it, and to add insult to injury, the grass has been cut round it by whatever has replaced it.

The Corsham manager controlled the spare balls with fierce domination, and the requirement for a new ball saw a slow, deliberate kick curling through the air to somewhere in the region of where the ball was required. The manager would then spend the next five minutes questioning the bench as to how good the kick was.

The ground also saw the most neglected floodlights I have seen.

It is adjacent to the town rugby club, I’d been there in May to watch the newly formed Bath and Wiltshire Romans Rugby League side against Swindon St George.